Page 104 of Burnout
“I was thinking I could get in another workout. I was a little preoccupied earlier.”
“You mean you were too busy staring at my ass to focus?”
“That’s absolutely what I mean.”
She laughs. “You don’t need to do this. I’ll figure it out just like you said. I’m sure I’m worrying for no reason.”
But she is worrying.
“I’ve been there many times. If I had a race this weekend, I’d want to be out in the garage tinkering with my bike or at the track.”
Her teeth graze her bottom lip. “You don’t have to come, but thank you for understanding. Text you later?”
“Yeah. Sounds good. I should probably spend some time with Flynn. See if I can figure out when to take him to Houston.”
“You’re a good brother.” She presses a kiss to my lips that makes me want to beg her to stay, but it’s her words that linger with me all night long.
THIRTY-FOUR
We travelto Lakeshore College for our exhibition meet on Saturday. It’s less than two hours away so we take a chartered bus, arriving early to warm up and prepare.
Nearly all college meets are held on the host team’s university basketball court. Mats and all the special flooring needed for the events are placed on top of the hardwood floor and the equipment is placed in the four corners of the gym.
The size and setup are always so similar that it should make it feel more like home, but everything is different. The spring floor is green instead of blue and feels harder than the one I’m used to, and the beam is cold and unfamiliar as I run a hand along it before I warm up.
I’m an all-around gymnast, usually competing in all four events for Valley U, but today Coach Weaver has me only on beam. I try not to let that mess with my head. I know she’s giving me an opportunity to get back into things without overwhelming me at a meet that doesn’t matter in our overall season standings, but that constant worry nags at me that I’ll never climb my way back to where I was before my injury.
As my teammates and I stretch, I block everything else out and visualize the routine, imagining myself flawlessly executing every movement.
Beam is our last rotation today, so I cheer on my teammates on vault, floor, and bars. Upbeat music plays over the speakers and there’s an energy that hums in the air. Even when it’s hard and my future is uncertain, I can’t imagine giving this up.
A fresh wave of nerves rolls over me when we finally make it to beam. I peel off my warmup pants and jacket and stand on the sidelines. I’m in the anchor position so I have a little time before it’s my turn.More time. I feel like I’ve been waiting an eternity.
In my bag, I dig out my phone and reopen the text Knox sent earlier.
Knox
Good luck today even though you don’t need it. You’ve got this. Text me after. x
That little x makes my heart flutter. Knox isn’t really a hugs and kisses kind of guy. He’s been clear about what he wants, hanging out and hooking up. But we’ve been spending so much time together the lines have blurred. I know he likes me beyond hooking up, but that could just be friendship on top of sex. Is it possible he’s falling for me like I am him?
The guys’ team isn’t competing today, but a few of them drove up to watch. Tristan walks over in his Valley blue warmup pants with a gray T-shirt.
“You ready for this, Ollie?”
“If I’m not, are you going to give me a rousing pep talk?” I ask dryly.
“Would you listen if I did?” One side of his mouth lifts and I feel some of the tension in my shoulders relax.
He’s been distant since the night of the pajama party and I’m not sure if it’s because he finally realized I’m not going to make out with him again or if I’m finally practicing hard enough that he decided to stop holding it against me.
“No, probably not.”
He holds out a fist and I tap my knuckles against his.
“Kill it, Ollie.”
When it’s finally my turn, I walk to the beam like I’ve done a million times. I lift my hands over my head and smile at the judges, then turn and mount the beam. Sitting on it with my legs dangling on either side, I arch back and let my head graze the beam before sitting up and getting to my feet. My hands scoop down and then with my feet pointed, I walk to the middle of the beam and do my first full turn.
