Page 197 of Most Valuable Players
“Isn’t that basically what you and Ginny had before you blew it up?” He sets an elbow on the table and waves his fork around. “I’m not much for trying to live up to other people’s expectations. I know what it means to me and yeah.” He shrugs. “At least I hope so. Otherwise, it’s going to be me and you heading to the Early Bird special together. The only question you need to ask yourself is, do you believe Ginny means it?”
“Yeah, I think she does. She’s never given me any reason to doubt her.” I toss my napkin on the table. “I’m not hungry.”
He takes my plate and I watch as he inhales my food and then sits back with a contented sigh.
“I don’t know what to do. I want to be with her, but I can’t tell her I… you know, when the words make me want to throw myself off a cliff.”
“But you do?”
“If I didn’t hate the word and everything in my past associated with it? Yeah, that’s probably how I’d define it.”
“Big gesture. Huge. I’m talking Kanye-antics.”
“I think I’ll just try to talk to her first.”
“Talking got you into this mess,” he points out.
* * *
When we get to campus,Maverick starts toward class. I’m going by the dorm first to see if I can find Ginny. Something tells me she didn’t show up at the dining hall this morning either.
“Good luck, buddy. Try not to use the word like.”
I flip him off. He turns and I call after him. “Hey, Mav.”
My buddy glances over his shoulder.
“You can always count me in for the Early Bird special. No matter what.”
I move at a clip across campus and jog up the stairs to the second floor.
I knock on the door and wait. No answer. Knock again.
“Ginny? Are you there? It’s Heath. Open up if you’re there. Please.” It’s quiet on the other side and I rest my head against the door. “I’m so sorry.”
A few people pass by in the hall and give me weird looks, and the door continues to mock me by staying shut. I blow out a breath, the magnitude of how badly I screwed this up makes my whole body ache something fierce.
I’m caught off guard when the door finally opens, and I stumble forward. My heart soars and then plummets when it’s Ava’s face that appears and not Ginny’s.
“She’s not here,” Ginny’s shy roommate says, her cheeks turning pink.
“Right, okay, could you give her a message?”
She nods, prompting me. Shit, what’s the message? I’m sorry that I’m a giant prick doesn’t really tell her anything she didn’t already know, even if it’s accurate.
“Just ask her to call me.” I step back and then add, “Please?”
37
GINNY
“Thank you for doing this one with me,” I say to Dakota as the group of local elementary students line up for a tour of the Hall of Fame. It’s my first day back working after being locked in the hype room. I’m already a mess from last night and the idea of being in there by myself again is scary.
“Of course. These guys might look little but trust me, it’s going to take two of us plus their teacher to keep them in line.” She gives me a reassuring smile and steps forward and introduces herself.
I fall back and let her do the majority of the talking. I’m not feeling particularly chatty, but I answer questions and help keep the kids from wandering off. It’s a totally different experience than the recruits get, less focused and more about letting the kids walk around awestruck by catching glimpses of college athletes working out or walking around campus. They look up to them like celebrities and it’s pretty heartwarming. But since it’s less intense than our recruit tours, I’m able to fade into the background, and today I’m extremely thankful for that.
When we walk into the hype room, Dakota goes first, the kids follow, and I bring up the end of the line. She glances to me as I enter. I nod to let her know I’m okay. Maybe the anxiousness I thought I’d feel coming in here again is dulled by the deep aching pain I’ve had since I walked out of Heath’s apartment last night, but I’m able to stand and watch the video without panicking. It’s a generic video, encompassing all sports, but since hockey is such a big deal at Valley, there are still lots of times that Heath’s face splashes on the screen. Each and every time it feels like someone’s pouring alcohol into an open wound.
