Page 56 of Electric Blue Love
I wanted to set the bar to an unobtainable level for her. Destroy every other experience -past and future. The way she looked at me, I thought I’d succeeded. A lazy smile on her face spread across her face, like I’d hung the moon and all the stars.
Maybe I’d given her exactly what I aimed for, but she gave it right back and looking down at my sweet, perfect 8B I was pretty sure I’d stumbled over a line where no one else could compare toher. I was a mother fucking idiot.
“Oh my God, is it always that…” I struggled to find the right word.
Awesome.
Amazing.
Intense.
Court chuckled and dropped a kiss on my temple.
“Good?” I settled on the word hoping it didn’t give away how euphoric I felt right now.
He slid out of me and I already hated how empty I felt without him. I watched with fascination as Court removed the condom and threw it in a trash can just inside the bathroom. He swaggered back to the bed all easy confidence and laid down beside me with his head propped up on a crooked elbow.
“It’s different with everyone. Just like kissing, some people are better at it and sometimes the chemistry is just better.”
I slipped my bottom lip between my teeth and considered that. Chemistry. Is that why things with Court always felt so much better or had he just had more practice? A jealous heat bloomed in my face. No doubt the women before me had been more experienced and I didn’t know if I was more upset that he’d slept with a whole slew of women better than me or if I was angry that I’d probably not even registered on his radar. Because my mind and body were completely blown.
“Get that worried look off your face,” he instructed as he ran the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip coaxing me to free it from my teeth. “You were perfect.”
“But can you tell I didn’t know what I was doing? I mean, of course you could, you knew, but will other men be able to tell??”
Court’s expression darkened and hardened almost as if the idea of me sleeping with someone else made him want to murder someone, but then that slow charming smile played on his lips.
“First of all, I promise you no man is going to think that – you are perfection. And secondly, we’ve got all night to give you as much experience as you want.”
It was past midnight when we tore ourselves from the bed. My whole body tingled with a Jell-O-y tingly sensation. Court started the coffee pot as I slid onto the bar stool and watched. He’d pulled on the jeans he’d worn earlier, but left his shirt off – well, in fairness I’d stolen the shirt to wear over my dress, but he hadn’t protested, and I was rewarded with a view of denim slung low on his hips and bare feet that made him look domestic and sinful.
My phone sat on the counter in front of me and I snapped a picture of Court just like this. Partly for photographic evidence tomorrow morning when I’d need to prove to myself that this really happened and in part because as amazing as today had been, it felt a little like goodbye.
“Whatcha doing, 8B,” he said catching me staring down at the photo on my phone.
“I’m capturing you at your finest.”
He quirked an eyebrow.
“Should I remove my pants then?” he asked as he playfully moved his hands to the button on his pants.
“Isn’t there some sort of rule against vag shots – I can only assume that goes both ways.”
“I think we’re done with the rules,” he said. “You’ve officially graduated.”
“Do I get a diploma?” I teased.
“Oh yeah.” he rounded the counter and pushed between my legs as he wrapped both arms around my waist. “Maybe we’ll even get you one of those cute cap and gowns to wear while I give you your graduation gift.” He nipped at my ear lobe and then whispered, “Spoiler alert it involves me taking that sweet ass of yours.”
I gasped at the thought and my body hummed at the dirty and totally hot picture it painted in my mind.
“It’s an advanced course,” he said while he trailed feather light kisses down my neck.
I had no words and Court must have taken my silence as hesitation. “Don’t worry, 8B. It’s not the kind of thing you do on a whim – we’ll work up to that.”
I wanted to ask when, and how, and could we start now? He talked like whatever this was between us was going to continue and my heart raced, and my stomach flipped because nothing sounded better. Like a semi-truck hitting a median, my heart screeched to a halt as I remembered that Court and I weren’t real. Sure, he’d said we were done with rules, but it had been his idea to pretend this was real. Was he still pretending? Was he still doing this as a service project?
“Are you okay?”
