Page 65 of Mister Cowboy
“No, of course not. I took two. They both confirmed it.”
“There hasn’t been anyone else?”
“Don’t be a jerk.”
He ran a hand through his hair, wanting to pull it out with his fingertips. “You’re talking about me being the father to your unborn child. I’ll ask whatever the hell I need to.”
That shut her up, but the angry look on her face remained.
“We used condoms, and I thought you were on the pill.”
She stood. “Don’t play this off like it’s all my fault. You were a very willing participant.”
“I was, but I also took precautions against it. Fuck.” He took a deep breath and reined in his anger before saying, “Okay, when is your doctor’s appointment?”
She stared at him as if he’d asked something ridiculous.
“The first doctor’s appointment to confirm the pregnancy and make sure you and it are healthy. Tell me you made an appointment, Nadia.” He’d spent all day yesterday digging through every scrap of information he could find on Google about pregnancy, but Nadia sounded as clueless as he had been before he’d researched. Hadn’t she at least asked someone what she should do next?
“I haven’t made it yet. I wanted to talk to you first.”
“Fine. Now that we’ve talked, schedule it. I’ll be there.”
He returned his focus to his computer. There was zero chance of him getting any work done today, but the sooner Nadia left the office, the sooner he could wallow in his own misery.
“That’s it?”
“What were you expecting, Nadia?”
“I dunno. Maybe we could have dinner or I could come by your place so we can talk about it.”
“Isn’t that what we just did?” His tone was cold, but he needed to set the expectations. A baby hadn’t changed how he felt about her.
“It’s just. I thought now that—”
“I have no interest in a relationship with you beyond co-parenting.”
“Co-parenting?” She threw the word back at him with a questioning glance.
“It’s when two people not in a relationship both help raise a child.” God, this was going to be a long pregnancy if she was relying on him to coach and teach her along the way. Shit. This wasn’t going to end after the pregnancy. He’d been sentenced to a lifetime connected to this woman. He’d be raising a child with a woman he wouldn’t trust with a pet goldfish. How could she be so efficient with his work schedule and professional needs and so bad at taking care of herself?
“Fine. I get it. I just want assurance that you’ll be involved in his or her life.”
Swallowing a bit of humble pie, he nodded. “You have it.”
She nodded back stiffly and walked out of his office.
“Fuck!” he screamed after Nadia shut the door. He knew that he should be more sensitive to her, but if he didn’t release some of the tension he was carrying he’d explode.
Running his hands through his thick hair, he pulled the strands until his scalp pricked with pain, and he welcomed the discomfort and let it numb the ache in his chest a bit.
His heart hurt.
It was the most ridiculous and most accurate thing he’d ever felt. January’s name flashed across the screen, and he read the accompanying text with a twinge of guilt that he’d slipped out early Sunday morning with an excuse that he had work to do and let her text yesterday afternoon go unanswered. He couldn’t face her until he figured this out.
January: I didn’t hear from you last night. I hope everything is okay. Call me when you can. xoxo
Refraining from smashing the phone and everything else in his office, he sat and stared out the window at the busy Monday morning streets. Self-loathing wasn’t something he’d participate in often, but he would happily trade places with any one of the people bustling to and from their destinations.
