Page 21 of Mister Cowboy
“How could you? It was a long time ago. Sometimes things don’t work out like we hope. Do you have family nearby?”
“My father lives in Chicago. I moved here to go to college and never left.”
“And your mother?”
“She died when I was young, so it was me and my dad.”
Louisa paused and placed her hand on her hip. “That must have been hard growing up without a mother.”
Shrugging one shoulder, January refused to give in to the what-ifs that had haunted her childhood.
She’d dismissed the idea that, had her mother still been alive, her life would somehow be dramatically different.
“I had nannies, and my father took me with him everywhere he could. He’s a senator back in Illinois.”
“Well, I think you turned out lovely, so he did something right.” She smiled before turning her back, busying herself with wiping down the counters. Taking that as her cue that it was time to get back to work, she washed her plate and fork in the sink and then left Louisa to her sanctuary.
* * *
The next daypassed the same way. Brecken rode with her on the way to the ranch and surprised her further when he’d been with Edward to drive her home, too. The conversation had been lighter and had steered away from anything too personal, but with every new thing she learned about him, her guard came down a little more.
On Thursday morning, she’d finally been able to pull herself out of bed early enough to actually have a cup of coffee and chat with Michael.
“I can’t believe you went to Tres Amigos and didn’t even stick around to people watch.” Michael shook his head as he poured coffee into his mug and then grabbed a travel mug from the cabinet.
“Shouldn’t I be making the coffee? What time did you get home from the bar last night? I didn’t hear you come in.”
“Late—after three, but I don’t mind. I’m going right back to bed after you ride away in your limo,” he said in a dreamy voice and threw her a wink. “Also, I wanted to catch you before you made other plans. We’re going out tonight.”
She groaned at the thought of another night out. She was in no mood to be in public.Grey’s Anatomy, butter pecan ice cream, and Franzia were the only items on her list for tonight.
“I knew I was going to get that reaction, which is why I didn’t text you. Sensual at eight. You’re going. You’re the main attraction, birthday girl.”
“Sensual? How did you pull that off? Besides, I’m supposed to be helping at the bar tonight.”
Holding the mug to his lips, Michael blew across the top and smiled. “I got Sarah and Dan to cover for us.” He set the coffee down and smiled bigger. A smug I’ve-thought-of-everything smile. “See you after work.”
With another wink, he was gone from the kitchen. Grabbing her coffee, January headed downstairs, trying to figure out why a night out with friends didn’t seem that appealing. She used to love the feeling of optimism she had before a big night out. She’d spend the whole day obsessing about her outfit, hair, and makeup. Who was going to be there? What might happen? The possibilities were endless, and she allowed herself to fantasize about every scenario. From a quickie in the dark hallway with a hot stranger, which had never happened, to meeting Mr. Right, which had also never happened. Still, until that moment, it had always been fun to get lost in the idea of both.
And then it hit her. She wasn’t excited because Brecken wouldn’t be there. Somehow, in the span of a few days, he’d become the fantasy. One of those fantasies that was so encompassing there wasn’t room for anyone else, and she knew, without a doubt, the night wouldn’t end in a perfect fantasy because he had taken too great a hold of her.
When Edward exited the driver’s side to get her door, the implication—that Brecken wasn’t inside—was almost as disappointing as her inability to not obsess over the one man she shouldn’t want.
She mumbled hello to Edward with what she hoped was a smile. Her limbs moved automatically and stiffly, robotic, and her head floated a million miles away. The ding of her phone as the car pulled away forced her back to reality.
Brecken: Good morning, beautiful. I have a full day at the office so I won’t be enjoying the view (you) today. Can I see you tonight?
As hard as she tried to hide the goofy smile on her face, she couldn’t. She actually imagined him watching her, which was a slim possibility, but she wouldn’t put anything past him. Maybe he had a camera in the car, maybe Edward would replay the whole morning in detail to him, maybe she was a little too into him and overthinking a text message.
Me: Michael has arranged a night out at Sensual to celebrate my birthday. You’ll have to eat wings and beer by yourself tonight.
She contemplated inviting him, typing the words and deleting them several times before she decided against it and hit send.
His response was immediate and disappointment settled heavy in her stomach.
Brecken: Have fun, birthday girl.
She knew it was ridiculous to be upset he hadn’t asked to come when that was the type of intrusive and forward thing she would have thrown back at him as being inappropriate, given that she was his employee. His response was perfect. It would have been rude and impolite to invite himself. And suddenly, she was wishing Mr. Manners would go back to being the uncouth man who’d been harassing her all week to go out with him.
