Page 114 of Babies for the Christmas Grump
She pulls her hand away, just a slight shift, but enough that I feel the space between us widen. Her gaze drops, and I see her swallow hard. She’s trying to push the fear back down her throat.
And that’s when it happens.
She pulls the blanket tight around her, sitting up quickly. The bed creaks under the movement, and I’m left lying there, shocked to the very core and utterly useless.
“I need to get dressed,” she mutters tightly.
I reach out again, but she doesn’t let me touch her. She’s already moving, throwing her legs over the side of the bed, herfeet hitting the floor with a soft thud. The cold air of the room hits my skin as I watch her.
What the hell is happening? I don’t even know what I’ve done, but she’s shutting me out.
“Sunny…” I start, but the words die on my lips.
She doesn’t look at me. Doesn’t wait for me to finish. She stands up, grabbing her clothes from the chair in the corner. I watch her for a beat too long, too frozen to stop her.
This isn’t happening. It can’t be happening.
She’s putting on her clothes too fast. Too frantic. Her movements are sharp, jerky. She’s trying to outrun something.
I open my mouth again, but there’s no way to fix this. No way to take back the seconds I spent in shock, trying to sort through the flood of thoughts in my head.
“Sunny…” I say again, this time more urgently, as I sit up.
But she doesn’t stop.
She pulls on her jacket, her back to me now. I can see her shoulders tense, her breath shallow. I don’t even know what to do.
My heart is caught in my throat. I want to reach for her, hold her, tell her everything will be okay.
But she’s not letting me.
“I’m… I’m sorry,” she says, the words coming out in a rush, but they don’t sound meant for me. “I didn’t mean to… just… I need to wrap my head around this.”
I can hear the raw edge in her voice, the unspoken hurt beneath it. She’s accusing me of something I didn’t even realize I was guilty of.
But I don’t know how to fix it.
I’m still frozen. Still stunned.
Before I can say anything, she’s gone. Out the door, leaving me alone in the room, the sound of her footsteps echoed down the hallway.
The silence is deafening.
I stay there, staring at the door she just slammed shut behind her, trying to get my bearings. I want to go after her. To tell her that I’m here, that I didn’t mean to… what?
What exactly am I apologizing for? I don’t even know.
But I can’t move. I can’t think.
I rub a hand over my face, frustrated and lost. I never expected this. I never expected her to shut me out, especially when I’ve never needed to say anything more than I need to right now.
I need to tell her that I’m here. That I’m with her. That we’ll figure this out together.
But instead, I’m just sitting here, waiting.
Waiting for her to come back. Waiting for everything to make sense. But it’s not going to.
Truth be told, I never thought I’d want a family. Hell, I never thought I’d like anything more than a life I could control.
