Page 36 of Wasn't Supposed To Be Yours
I was sitting at the table with a couple of my uncles when the sliding door that was attached to the house opened. It was Rico walking out, and he was carrying his baby girl Romy in his arms. From the way that he was carrying her, with her little body draped across his shoulder, I knew that she was sleeping. He came out with her diaper bag on his shoulder, and you could tell that he had control of the situation.
I respected my little cousin as a man because his plate was full right now. He was in college, devoting a lot of time to football, but even with that, he wasn’t using it as an excuse to not be a father. Any time that he had free time, he would have Romy, and to me, that shit was commendable.
“Rico, now why you came out here with that baby? It’s windy. You need to take her in the house before she gets sick,” my grandma fussed, as she left from standing where her brother Thomas was, frying up some fish.
Her ass was supposed to be in the house, making the side dishes, but she kept coming out every five minutes to check on uncle Thomas. That nigga would fry fish, while throwing back beers, putting him in a situation to get fucked up, and burn upthe food, so I already knew that that was the reason she was micromanaging him.
“I was in the house, looking for you, and they told me that you were outside. I only stepped out here for a second, so that I could show you the baby. If I had taken her upstairs without letting you see her, you would have had a fit. You always ready to go to war about little shit,” Rico fussed at our grandmother, who just waved his ass off, and the second she reached him, she put her hands out, taking Romy away from him, cradling her in her arms, and she took the diaper bag from him.
Rico kissed our grandmother on the cheek, and then he walked outside, coming in the backyard area where we all were, going around, speaking to everyone.
When he made it to his dad, the two of them shook it up, and then pulled each other into a hug. I admired the relationship that Rico had with his dad. My uncle Roy was a stand-up man. Even with the marriage not working out between him, and my auntie Shawn, that nigga still did his part as a father, being there for his children. He used to put so much time in with Rico, and football. He didn’t miss practice, or a game. That’s the kind of men that got the upmost respect from me, and I knew that my uncle Roy being there for Rico is the reason why Rico was a standup father to Romy as well.
“What’s good with it?” I asked Rico the second he made it over to me, and he took the empty seat next to me.
I slapped it up with him, and he shook his head, while running his hand down his face.
“Man, I’m tired as a motha fucka. I had Romy with me last night, and her little ass was up all night. She probably only slept for like two hours. Promise hit me yesterday afternoon, asking me if I could watch her because she had to take her car to the shop. You know if I’m not doing anything, I’ll get my baby anytime. It was only supposed to be for a few hours, and I toldher that I had something to do last night. I was supposed to go out with the guys. I’m calling her stupid ass all last night, and she not answering the phone. Now, here it is, a brand-new day, and she blowing me up, asking me for Romy. I told her dumb ass that I would bring my baby back when I was ready. I’m so sick of that fuckin girl. I be wanting to spaz out on her, put my hands on her dumb ass, but I got too much to lose, man. I can’t give in, and snap because I know she waiting for the moment to catch me slipping, so that she can expose me to the world, and make me lose everything,” he vented, and I could hear it all in is voice that he was stressed out.
It was about four of us at the table that I was sitting at, and there was another table right in front of us, and that’s where my dad and some of my cousins were. Rico wasn’t whispering this shit, so everyone could hear him, and they were all taking in the things that he was saying.
“Why didn’t you just drop Romy off with me, or your mama? You know one of us would have watched her for you,” my uncle Roy said to him.
“I just feel like that’s not you, and mama job to be watching after Romy for me,” Rico stated, and then he ran his hand down his face.
Before Uncle Roy got the chance to respond to him, my dad laughed and cleared his throat. There was a bottle of Don Julio sitting right in front of him, that he brought with him to the party, and he had been throwing that bottle back, taking long sips of it since he got here, so I knew that he was fucked up by now. Whatever he was getting ready to say was about to be some bullshit. I’m sure of it.
“Before I let a bitch stress me out about a motha fuckin kid, I’m going to clear the scene, and get the fuck on. That’s one thing that I didn’t let Netta nag me about. I left her ass right the fuckthere. Figure that shit out on your own,” my dad slurred, which let me know that he was drunk.
Uncle Roy was sitting right next to me, so he tapped me, shaking his head, telling me to ignore it, but I couldn’t. I wasn’t mature enough to sit here and let this nigga brag about being a deadbeat.
“You say that shit like you supposed to get some fuckin brownie points, nigga. You don’t get a trophy for being a dead-beat daddy, nigga. Niggas look at you, and they judge you. I look at you, and I don’t want to be shit like you, homie. My mama never nagged your black ass about shit! She wanted you to man the fuck up and be a daddy and stop making her raise a child that she didn’t create by her fuckin self! Minimize the usage of that drink nigga. Don’t let liquor be the reason you gotta get carried out this bitch!” I snapped at him.
Like he was shocked that I would talk to him like this, he stood up from his seat, wobbling a little bit because he was drunk. My cousins that were sitting next to him, they tried to grab his arm, stopping him from coming my way. Because I didn’t know what this nigga’s next move was going to be, I stood up as well, only for my uncle Roy to grab me too, telling me to chill.
“Nigga got a little money now, grew his hair out, and got a little house now, and you think you a man! Fuck is you talking to, nigga? I’m a grown ass man. I’m not in your age group, boy! I’ll stomp you the fuck out, lil nigga! Liquor ain’t the reason why I’m talking my shit to you. Anything that I just said to you, I’ll say it to you sober too. You in your feelings because I’m sitting here, telling the truth. Your mama tried to make my life hard, and I wasn’t about to be back and forth, going at it with a bitch, so I left her there to figure that shit out on her own!” I was itching to get to this nigga.
Damn near trying to jump across the table to get at him. My uncle Roy, Rico, and my other uncle Leon were all holding me, so it was damn near impossible to get to him.
“The fact that you just threw up the money that I got, my hair, and my house, proves to me that you just a hating ass nigga. You ain’t no fuckin grown ass man. Being old don’t make you grown because your stupid ass still lack wisdom. You in your fifties, and you still don’t see the wrongdoings that you did. You damn right that you put my mama in a situation to figure it out on her own and look where it got her. She got one of the hottest restaurants in Miami. Made her first seven figures last year, and none of that motion came from a nigga. You speak bad on my mama any chance you get because you hate that even after you didn’t help her out, it bothers you that she still came out on top. Me, and my mama shitting on your whole fuckin life. You still be going to my grandma, asking her for a few dollars to help you with your rent. Life fuckin you hard, nigga. Put the bottle down, and maybe shit will start looking better for you. Call my mama a bitch again, and I bet that be the last time you say it!” I was dead ass serious with him.
Now all of a sudden, after he just got his ass laid out, he wanted to start laughing. That was a laugh of pure embarrassment. It’s like he knew not to try me anymore because he sat his stupid ass down and didn’t say anything else.
I shook my way out of my uncle’s, and my cousins grasps, and I walked away, going to go out front, so that I could sit on the porch for a little bit. I needed some time to cool down.
I cut through the house, using the patio door to make my way inside. I was going to have to pass the kitchen, where the women were. I could hear all of them laughing, as I made my way through, and I tried to look normal, so that no one asked me what was going on, but it was too late because it’s as if my grandma could sense it because she quickly moved away fromthe kitchen, came around, getting right in front of me, and her hands held onto my arms, looking at me with worry in her eyes.
“What happened?” she asked, and you could hear the urgency in her voice. The urgency was one of someone wanting to know what the problem was, so that they could go to the source, and handle it.
“Nothing. I just need a minute to myself,” I brushed it off, trying to push my way out of the hold that she had me in, but she wouldn’t allow me. Truthfully, I was much bigger than my grandma, and if I really wanted to move her out of the way, I could, but the goal wasn’t to hurt her.
She took her eyes off me, and she looked behind me. From where she was standing, she could look straight out of the patio glass doors, and she could see what was taking place in the backyard. I wasn’t sure what was happening out there now because my back was turned. All I know is that she continued looking for about ten seconds more, and then she put her gaze back on me.
“Don’t you let your daddy upset you, boy. That’s my own son, and every day I question just where in the hell I went wrong with him because none of my other kids act the way he does. Something is seriously wrong with him, and the fact that he walks around, drinking like a god damn fish, doesn’t make the situation any better. Don’t let him ruin your day. Go out on the porch, get your mind right, and then go back out there with the rest of the family, and pretend that his ass doesn’t even exist,” she stated. I just nodded my head, and before I walked away, she kissed my forehead.
I continued walking through the house, and eventually, I made it over to the front door, where I turned the knob, and let myself outside. It was quiet out here this afternoon. Usually, it would be a bunch of kids running in the street, or mygrandmother’s neighbors sitting outside on the porch, but none of that was happening.
Instead of sitting down in one of the porch chairs, I decided to go over to the steps, and that’s where I lowered my body, sitting down. I pushed my legs out, keeping them extended, and I folded my arms in my lap, just allowing my mind to wonder. I was angry for letting that nigga get up under my skin the way that I did. Usually, I was so good at pretending that his ass didn’t even exist, but today, I snapped.
