Page 83 of A Vintage of Regret
She ran her hand up Grant’s arm. He didn’t flinch. Progress. “Let’s not jump to conclusions,” she said. “Come on. I’ll make some tea.”
“Can’t even drink that. It’s like anything hot and in a mug reminds me of—” Grant lowered his head.
“We don’t even know if that’s what…” Riley swallowed.
“Killed him?” Grant swiveled. “The ME said with certainty, Dad did not die of a heart attack. That there were things in his system that didn’t belong there. Doesn’t matter that we don’t know what they were, but I handed him a cup of coffee that mother made him, and she’s lying, saying I wasn’t even in her house that morning. Why would she do that, Ry? Why? This whole thing doesn’t make sense.” He turned, slamming his fist on the railing. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I shouldn’t be yelling at you.”
Riley's world tilted sickeningly off its axis. Murder. The word hit her like a physical blow, stealing the breath from her lungs. Her father hadn't just died—someone had deliberately, intentionally taken his life. All this time she'd been grieving a tragic loss, but this was something else entirely. This was evil. Senseless. And now Grant was saying their mother was lying about him being there? Protecting herself while throwing Grant under the bus? The woman who'd raised them was capable of that level of betrayal?
“It’s okay. It’s not me you’re mad at.” The implications crashed over her in waves. If their mother was lying about Grant being there, what else was she lying about? And if their father had been murdered, if someone had poisoned him... Riley's stomach churned as she thought about all the people who'd had access to him, all the cups of coffee, all the meals, all the seemingly innocent moments that could have been his last.
Grant let out a sarcastic chuckle that sounded more like a grunting cow. “For a change.”
She curled her fingers around Grant’s biceps and tugged him inside the house. Her heart fluttered with an array of contradictions. Loving her brother had never been in question. Liking him had sometimes been a problem. But she’d always wanted a relationship with him and his family. It’s why she called, texted, and wrote. But she’d never given it her all. If she had, she wouldn’t have stayed away so long.
It sucked that it had taken something like this to bring them together.
The door screeched closed behind them, and Grant perched himself on a stool. “Erin should be down any minute. Told me she wanted to take a shower. I think that’s code for a good cry before forcing herself to put on a brave face. I want to beat the shit out of Chad. I have for years.”
“Have you ever confronted him?” Riley opened the fridge and placed a diet soda in front of her brother and opened one for herself before taking a seat.
The Boone kitchen table had seen its share of hard conversations, but she doubted this kind of devastating weight had ever settled within these walls.
Late afternoon sunlight streamed through the wide windows, landing warm on the wood, but it didn’t reach Grant. His face carried too many shadows.
“Erin has always asked me not to.” Grant shook his head. “It’s always been about what Mom would say. And the optics. And the money. Not that Erin cared much about that, but she needed it because she was trapped. And she’s been trying to please Mom for years, and failing miserably at it.” He lifted the bottle, twisted off the cap, then took a big swig. “I’ve always been the golden boy in Mom’s eyes, but she’s always placed conditions on that position. Living up to mom’s standards is a rough place to be. But when I married Kelly, my entire world changed. The only reason Mom still treated me like the favorite child was that she loved bragging to everyone about how I was a self-made man. She so enjoyed going on endlessly about me and my successful business.” He laughed dryly. “She’d bulldoze over Kelly, as if she had nothing to do with it. It makes me crazy how Mom idolizes Chad and treats Kelly like she’s not worthy of her time simply because her family doesn’t have money.”
“Can I ask you a stupid question?”
“Like I tell my children, there are no stupid questions.” He lowered his chin. “Shoot.”
“When we were kids, couldn’t you see how manipulative Mom could be?”
He tossed his head back and laughed. Hard.
“I don’t think that’s funny.”
“I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at you. Or even the question. That’s about me, and how utterly self-centered and starved I was for our mother’s conditional love. Now, it’s about balancing relationships and doing what’s right for my kids,” Grant said, swiveling in his chair, taking her hands. “Yeah. I saw it. But I didn’t know how to deal with it. Erin found ways to please Mom. She was all unicorns and rainbows. Dressed like Mom and did whatever Mom wanted. You…” Grant squeezed her hands. “Were Daddy’s little girl and a free spirit. Mom looked at you and had no idea what to do. But me? I was sandwiched between twodifferent types of perfection. And Mom would waffle between utter disappointment and building me up into something I wasn’t.” He leaned closer. “And then, she’d do some really crazy things.”
“Like what?”
“Remember when I accused you of breaking my bike?”
“Yeah, but what does that have to do with anything?”
“Erin recently told me that Mom did it. That she actually saw Mom go into the garage and break the damn thing.” Grant held up his hand. “And then there was the time that I thought you stole that game of mine. Well, Mom’s the one who found it in your room. Not me. But I went along with it because I wanted so desperately to make her proud. And boy was she beaming.”
Riley recoiled. “Jesus, Grant.” “That’s just twisted. It’s sick.”
“I know.” Grant fiddled with his beverage. “Kelly has always believed Mom suffers from a personality disorder. I tend to agree with my wife. Her major was psychology, and she did work in the field before we had kids. I don’t leave my children alone with Mom anymore. But Erin does, and that’s always worried me.”
He took another drink of his soda before continuing. “Thing is, I’ve enabled Mother all these years, and this is where we’ve landed.” He sighed, rubbing a hand over his eyes, down across his nose, then his mouth. “But I do struggle to believe that she’d resort to harming anyone. Being conniving, lying, manipulating? Sure. She’s all those things. He sighed. “There was a time Kelly and I were going to move. But I couldn’t leave Erin in this town alone with that asshole husband of hers with nothing but Mom for support.”
Riley leaned forward, palming Grant’s cheek. “You’re a good man. A great father. And a wonderful brother. I’m so sorry I’ve been so hard on you.”
“That’s a two-way street, little sis. I held on to so much of her crazy bullshit because I didn’t want to admit that she was controlling me—even to myself.” He blinked, letting out a long breath. “I’ve picked up some traits from our mom. I examine my behavior, and more often than not, it reminds me of her. I’m ashamed of those parts of me.”
“You’re nothing?—”
