Page 56 of Behind the Cascades
I look at Connie, hoping she will have some sage wisdom. "What do you think we should do?"
"I like this town for you two. I have since the first time I visited a few months ago. You two will be alright here if you choose to be. Find a new house and start fresh; maybe look into buying property and building something together."
My eyes go suddenly misty at that. I love it here. I love Hayes. And I love Hayes being here.
Despite Carter, I don't want to run away from this memory like I did the last one.
It only followed me here, anyway.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Hayes
Luke and Dan both sit across from me at the diner. They asked me if I'd meet them for coffee this morning, and as much as I hate leaving Charlie right now, I know I needed to. I can't hover as much as I want to, and I know she's safe with my mom and Odessa.
"How ya holding up?" Luke doesn't say very much, but when he does, it always comes out sounding a little more gruff than most.
"About as expected. You guys know how it is. We've been trained to have that on-and-off switch. Right now, I feel numb to it. Charlie's struggling pretty badly, though."
They both nod their heads in unison.
"Let us know how we can help." Dan is the most sincere guy I've ever met. He would give the shirt off his back to anyone who needed it. I've seen him working and he treats everyone in town with the same respect. Even the ones that don’t deserve it.
"Thanks, Dan. I appreciate that. Right now, we're just taking it day by day."
Luke gives a small nod of understanding before changingthe subject. "You sure I can’t convince you to work at the department with us? After seeing how you handled the Carter situation, you’d be a damn good fit."
"Nope. Sorry, man. That only confirmed that I needed to get out of that lifestyle. I want to be physically and emotionally present for Charlie and our future family. I don’t think I can do that if I’m focused on fighting the bad guys and putting in the hours you two do.” I don’t mention the main reason is that killing him was too easy. Taking someone's life like that shouldn’t be second nature. Don’t get me wrong—I’m glad it was. It saved my life and potentially Charlie’s as well. However, that doesn’t mean I want to get in deeper and become so numb that I forget the gravity of the situation.
I catch Dan’s shoulders sagging out of the corner of my eye and start to realize the foot I just shoved into my mouth.
When I glance at him, he looks like I just punched him in the stomach. "Can’t say I blame you there. I’m fucking up left and right with Liv. Every time I try to get home early or make more of an effort, someone else needs something. It guts me how indifferent she’s become to me telling her I’ll be late or can’t make it. We don’t fight about it anymore. It’s like she’s so used to me bailing that she expects it now.”
Luke and I both shift in our seats, trying to figure out what to say. It’s clear as day to everyone how much he loves Olivia, but he continues to choose helping out everyone else over spending time with her.
Finally, I decided to take one for the team and say what we’ve all been thinking. “I’m gonna shoot straight with you right now. Your family should be your number one priority at all times. Work, the town—everything else has to be below them. You’re going to lose Olivia if you don’t change your mindset. She loves the hell out of you, but from the outsidelooking in, we can all tell it’s wearing on her. I’m not saying you should quit your job. But you can delegate a little more.”
“Sorry, friend, but I have to say I agree. You’ve got an incredible wife at home who would do anything for you and does. Don’t fuck it up by being the martyr. End of the day, call one of the guys just starting shift to take the call. We appreciate all you do, but your family is more important.”
Dan nods, staring at his half filled coffee cup. “I don’t know how my dad did it all. Parenting, his career, and becoming sheriff. He’s accomplished everything he ever wanted by the age of fifty, and I’m fucking it all up before the age of thirty.”
“He didn’t.” Luke scoffs before softening his tone. “I’ve been your best friend for years. I was there. Growing up, it was your mom who made sure you got to practice and had dinner. Making sure Levi was doing his homework and staying out of trouble. It was alwaysallyour mom,allthe time. After she died, you and Levi raised yourselves. Your dad buried himself in more work to keep himself distracted. Yeah, he was around for the big moments. But the little ones? The ones that actually matter? He wasn’t there.”
“Dammit. You’re right. My mom was always there to make sure we didn’t realize his absence. I have no doubt that is what Olivia is doing. Making sure the kids don’t see my shortcomings keeping me on a pedestal in their eyes. They have no idea how much I’m failing them all because she picks up the pieces before they have a chance to fall.”
“Not too late to fix that. Show up a little more. Be the partner she needs. Charlie and I are happy to help with the kids any time.”
“Let us know. I’m happy to cover some shifts, too. Anything you and Liv need.” Luke offers his own support before taking a sip of his coffee. The three of us clearly aren’t very good at sentimental talks, but the sentiment is still there.
Dan quickly blinks away the emotion he had stirring in his eyes and tries to smile. “Appreciate you both. I’ll be taking you both up on those offers. Her and the kids are the best thing that’s ever happened to me. She deserves so much more from me.”
“Alright, on a lighter note. What are your plans after you graduate? Live off Charlie’s COO wage for as long as you can?"
My shoulders rise in a noncommittal shrug to Luke, but I chuckle. “That’s plan B. Right now, I think I want to start an agency—private security and military contracting. Hoping I can get some of the guys I worked with to come on board. They’re looking for a middleman to make sure they aren’t getting screwed over in the fine print.
Olivia offered to let me use the empty office they have and I've been brainstorming ways to start my own business. The idea started to form when I first talked to Lincoln about helping me find Charlie. He's been taking odds-and-ends jobs, but he doesn't have a huge outreach yet. If I could pull a few more people into it, the networking would take care of itself.
Now it’s just a matter of finishing my degree and reaching out to as many people as I can.
