Page 20 of Behind the Cascades
"I packed up my apartment. My neighbor stayed with me the entire time and helped. I can't go back.” I pause and take a look around. Everything about this house is filled with reminders of Hayes. “And I can't stay here."
She pulls back from me. "And why can’t you stay here?"
A million "becauses” roll through my brain. Because this is Hayes' safe place. Because he was my safe place. Because he hates me. Because my heart is broken. Because everywhere around here, all I see is him.
I need time to heal without being held back by the past.
And if I’m a little honest with myself, I’m scared.
"Finals are done. I'm a college graduate, and my plan was always to go to Hayes. Now that we aren't together?—”
She interrupts me, not being able to contain her feelings. "That boy. I'm so mad at him."
"Don't be. He overreacted, but I can't say I wouldn't have done the same had I seen a girl in his bed. Especially with all the stress he's going through." That moment has run through my head a thousand times. I knew Hayes was struggling with nerves and us being apart. I hadn’t realized how bad it had gotten, but all of it mixing together just created one big toxic mess.
"He's going to overreact when he hears this." She grumbles out.
"No! You can't tell him or Drew! Not until they get home. They won’t do anything but worry themselves sick and take responsibility. They need to focus on what they're doing." I can't be the distraction that doesn't bring one of them home. The deployments aren't easy for them, even without all this added on. It's life or death for them every day, sometimes. If they're distracted for a moment, it could be the end for them.
Connies eyes fill with sympathy as she nods her head. "Idon't know if I agree with keeping it from them, but it's not my story to tell."
"Thank you." I settled back on the couch.
"Back to where you plan on going."
"I don't know." I tell her honestly. "I just need to go. I have some money saved up and a good car. Odessa mentioned she would be in Seattle at the end of the summer. The plan starts forming the more I talk. I can take a little road trip and go visit Odessa and see a little bit more of the country on my way.
"You're more like your mother than you think. She was always about the next adventure. Every one of our family vacations was planned by her and her sense of adventure." She smiles warmly, reminiscing about her late, best friend.
"I think it will be good for me to spread my wings a bit."
"You'll call? Send your location?"
My eyes close as I cringe. "I can't. I don't know when Carter will get out, and I don't want anyone to know where I am.
"Charlotte." Her frown deepens as she takes in my answer.
I hold my hand up, trying to think of something quickly. "I'm sure we can find an app to call from that doesn't track location."
If Connie didn't live in a double-gated community and carry a gun with her everywhere, I would be concerned about her as well. I know she can handle herself, though, and she has neighbors all around her who watch out for her. As well as the security system.
It's me that Carter has a weird obsession with anyway.
She's looking at me like she's about to protest, but when she sees how serious I am, she relents. "You call once a month and text more. If you miss even one call, I will tell your brotherandHayes."
I nod my head in agreement. "I can do that."
"When are you leaving?"
“I'll stay a day or two. I need to go to sleep and talk to the detective. Get a new phone and number. Pull out as much cash as I can."
"Put it on prepaid VISAs. I don't want you traveling with only cash. You can get the cash and put it on gift cards or a prepaid visa. There's Target and Walmart everywhere."
I glance at Connie with a newfound respect. "You planning on running away, too?"
Her laugh brings lightness to my dark mood. "Roge always had a getaway plan. But I don't want you to stay at any cash-only motels. How about the motorhome?"
I blink at her, trying to tell if she’s kidding or not.
