Page 46 of Eavesdroppers Never Hear
“It went well enough. It is not my favourite pastime, but I did not offend anybody new, so I count it a success.”
Elizabeth laughed again. “Perhaps you take pity on the poor fox, having lived his experience?”
“Perhaps,” he said with a chuckle.
She took a deep breath. “On the subject of foxes and hunts… I fear the cat is out of the bag regarding our courtship. You see I—”
“Mr Darcy! Mr Darcy!What a pleasure it is to meet you,” she heard from the most annoying voice in the house (by a narrow margin).
She grumbled at the awkwardness of her cousin’s entrance while simultaneously amazed the lumbering lunkhead managed to sneak up on her.
Mr Collins started one of his typical fawning long-winded speeches about his good fortune, his relationship with Rosings, his parsonage, his connexion to…
“Mr Collins!” she snapped angrily.
She looked on in satisfaction when he stopped speaking so abruptly he nearly bit his tongue off. Much as she hated the necessity of scolding her cousin in front of her beau, she thought Charlotte might thank her for it.
Mr Collins started to speak, but she just held up her hand and glared at him until he desisted.
With a nod, she turned back to Darcy. “May I have the pleasure of introducing you to Mr Collins? Mr Collins, this is Mr Darcy, a visitor at Netherfield.”
Both men bowed awkwardly, thus showing they at least had a rudimentary knowledge of deportment. Mr Collins seemed belatedly aware he should not have been talking without an introduction.
She faced Darcy. “Mr Collins is my distant cousin, and the vicar of Hunsford under the patronage of your aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. He is heir presumptive to Longbourn.”
She faced Collins. “Mr Darcy is the master of a substantial estate in Derbyshire, and as you know, the nephew of your Lady Catherine. As I mentioned earlier, he is courting me.”
Darcy gasped and looked at her in amazement, Mr Collins entirely forgotten.
Elizabeth sighed. “That was awkward. As I was saying before Mr Collins interrupted…” she said while punctuating her words with a glare at her cousin, “…the cat is out of the bag. My family knows you are courting me, and keeping it from general knowledge for a day took considerable effort.”
Darcy laughed. “How did your secret get out if I might ask? I thought you wished it to be quiet for a week.”
She sighed, looked at Collins, and decided he had not had enough of her pique yet. “Mr Collins made me lose my temper. He asserted very stridently that you were pledged to your cousin, Miss de Bourgh. I assured him it was impossible, and things got out of hand when he was unwilling to take me at my word.”
Darcy raised an eyebrow but then gave Collins a stare that made the man quiver (even though in Elizabeth’s opinion it hardly qualified as a glare).
“Before you start in on the poor man, I believe Mary gave him adequate instruction on the subject of keeping unfounded gossip to himself.”
“Good for her,” Darcy said, then glared at Collins. “Is she correct? Have you been sufficiently chastised?”
Collins gulped nervously and nodded.
“Then I shall consider the matter closed, and need not bring it up with my aunt,” Darcy said with a bit of vindictive glee.
Collins gulped again, and Darcy asked Elizabeth, “Out of curiosity, why were you convinced he was in error?”
“Because you are not an idiot!”
Both men startled at the stark language and stared at her.
“Care to elaborate?” Darcy asked curiously.
“I can give you three reasons. The first is consanguinity. You are an animal breeder, so you must know the dangers of marrying afirstcousin, who is far too close,” she said, then turned red in embarrassment, but decided she was not to be intimidated. If Mr Darcy was looking for timidity, he was on the wrong scent.
“You are correct. I have tried to teach my aunt that, but…”
“…but she is like my mother?”
