Page 114 of Until You Came Along
That package was for Hermes. It contained the keys to his house, which I had fortunately left at my apartment and not taken to the meeting with my father, and the necklace he had given me.
“Thank you,” I said, as I walked toward my office.
I opened the door and froze. Hermes was standing in the middle of the office looking at me seriously, but it wasn't the seriousness caused by fury; it was the seriousness produced by uncertainty and fear. I couldn't move or speak; my body wouldn't respond. I felt Julia gently pushing me to enter the office.
“Talk in private, no one will disturb you,” she said, and tried to close the door, but my question stopped her.
“Julia, what did you do?” I whispered.
“Delfina, you're a wonderful person. You don't deserve to have your life destroyed by other people's wickedness. I did what I had to do. I owe you so much, and I hope I can help clear up all the misunderstandings with your boyfriend.” She closed the door, disappearing behind it and leaving me alone with Hermes, who continued to stare at me without moving from his spot, with the same expression he had when I entered.
“Hello,” he greeted me, and remained standing in place, without moving a single muscle.
“What are you doing here? Why did Julia let you in?” I asked, not understanding anything, and his presence had completely thrown me off balance.
“Julia not only let me in, she did much more than that, and I'll be grateful to her for the rest of my life,” he replied.
“I don't want to know,” I whispered, shaking my head.
“I owe you a huge apology,” he stated with certainty, and with that voice that made me tremble.
“It seems so,” I said, and began walking toward my desk under his watchful gaze.
“I was wrong. I made a huge mistake by not trusting you and believing all the lies that goddamn son of a bitch told me. I don't know if I deserve your forgiveness, but I beg you to forgive me. If you want, I'll get on my knees, offer you my cheek to slap, or use me as a target to throw whatever projectile you can find, but please accept my apology, I'm begging you,” he said, trying to approach me, but my raised hand made him stop in his tracks.
“Violence isn't necessary. I'm not like my father. Fortunately, I was raised by a great woman and a brother with principles, and I have nothing of my father except the color of my eyes.”
“I never imagined he was your father. You don't even share the same last name,” he said, and again tried to approach me, but my hand stopped him for the second time.
“By my own choice. I don't even want that man's last name,” I stated.
I walked around my desk and sat in my chair, needing to be far from him because his proximity destabilized me. Then I looked at him and pointed to the visitor's chair.
“You can sit down if you want.”
He did so, and then our gazes met again. His still looked fearful and distressed, while mine showed pure disappointment. He had learned the truth from Julia; my secretary had to intervene for him to listen and understand what had happened, and for him to deign to hear what I had to say. That wasn't very encouraging, much less did it make me happy. Even though he was sitting in front of me and seemed willing to resume our relationship, I was far from feeling joyful.
“My love, forgive me. I swear that...”
“I understand clearly, Hermes. You distrusted me without a moment’s hesitation. I don’t know what they told you, but you never listened to my version. You treated me like trash, like a whore, like... I don’t know, it doesn’t matter anymore. It hurt that you denied me the chance to defend myself. I think during the time we were together, I showed you that you could trust me. I gave you my heart, I moved in with you, I intended to share my life with you. The problem is that we’ll always have the shadow of your girlfriend’s betrayal hanging over us because...”
“It’s not like that,” he interrupted, also shaking his head.
“It is like that, of course it is. You let your past define you and you continue measuring everyone by the same standard as those who betrayed you. I’m not her, I would never have done something like that, not to you or anyone. Unfortunately, I’m paying the consequences for something I didn’t break, because I wasn’t the one who broke your heart.”
“I know, Delfina. I understand clearly that you’re not like her.”
“Then tell me something, why would you never marry me? Because if you understand clearly that I’m not like her, what prevents you from marrying me in the future, because you made it clear to me that would never happen.”
Hermes looked at me with eyes wide as saucers and opened and closed his mouth without knowing what to say, feeling cornered by my question. Suddenly he lowered his head as if defeated, sighed, and then looked at me again. I continued to look at him seriously, knowing he didn’t like talking about this topic, but I intended to push him to the limit because it was time to put all the cards on the table, it was time for the truth.
“I... I”
“You don’t want to get married, I know,” I stated, interrupting him to speed up the response, after all, I already knew what itwas. “And I’m not asking because I want to get married now, the issue is that if I want to be with you, I have to follow your rules, I have no other option. Does this seem fair to you?”
“I suppose not.”
“It’s also not fair that I always have to be thinking about whether what I do will upset you or make you distrust me. You don’t even allow me to go out with friends because you’re convinced I’m going to betray you.”
