Page 96 of Between Earth and Eternity
You take it cause
You don’t know what you want
“Nova Baby,” The Black Keys
Morale on the ship has risen in the last few days, with the midway mark to Eden approaching. Apparently, the gala is just one of the array of events occurring throughout the ship tocommemorate. It will be a “celebration of spirit and progress,” Alister Mannox shared in a special broadcast a few days ago.
My spirit is in no condition to celebrate. It takes all my energy to get out of bed in the mornings and go to the gym, but I manage it, and for now, that’s all I can do. I don’t go to the library anymore.
“It was a minor incident. The situation has been handled,”Zara assured everyone the next day as we ate lunch at Lunar Landing. It was oddly normal.
“You haven’t been yourself since”—Ori contemplates if she should be frank or not—“the panic attack.” Ori has been a mother hen ever since the “security breach,” as they call it now.
I just returned home from a run. I could be vague or say nothing at all; instead, I’m honest. “I guess you can’t always bounce back to before. Sometimes you’re left with anafterversion of yourself. You can’t simply rewind.”
She doesn’t have a response, not that I expect her to or want one; I just want her to understand.
Since my StarComm was “lost,” I had to submit a request for a new one to Steward Russell, which was just as painful as I’d expected it to be. Following Slade that night when he took mine was to avoid this very process. Russell lectured me on how important it was to keep track of my belongings, especially items that were gifted to me out of the Mannoxes’ good will.
I highly doubt he would have believed me if I explained what really happened to it.
Vallen Mannox took it from me when he was undercover, aiding a group of individuals who were stealing goods from the ship. I have no idea why or even what they stole. I didn’t technically see his face, but I know it was him because I smelled him.It sounds insane in my head alone.
As part of her loving concern for me, Ori reinstated our movie nights, but she still goes out a couple of nights a week with thesingles group. I’m grateful she has other friends so I don’t drag her into my pit of misery. I insisted she choose the movie for tonight’s viewing, and she landed on a classic sci-fi film that seems deeply ironic due to the fact that we are living a life that could’ve only been fiction not so long ago.
We’re a few minutes into the movie when the door chime echoes throughout the room.
“I’ll get it.” I stand, assuming it’s Romy looking for some extra company as she often does, but the door slides open, revealing Steward Russell.
“Miss Andrews, your new StarComm is ready for use.” He hands it over, but before I can say thank you, he adds, “And this is for you as well.” He places a small rectangular package wrapped in gold paper into my hands. “Have a good evening.” He retreats before I can say a word.
“Who was it?” Ori asks, her eyes still on the screen.
“Russell with my new StarComm and this.”
She snaps her head in my direction. “A present? From who?”
“I have no idea.” I examine it closely.
“Well, open it!” she exclaims.
I tear back the gold paper carefully, revealing a plain box, and when I lift the lid, a sob builds in my chest.
“What is it?” Ori walks over while I stare at the object wordlessly. “Is that what I think it is?”
My phone, the battered old piece of junk I thought had been destroyed months ago, sits inside with a new charger and a note card underneath.
My influence may have played a part in retrieving this. Try not to hold it against me. It can be useful at times.
I know you believe I’ve taken everything from you, and I may never be able to find the words to explain the answers you seek, but I had to return this to you, because in these past fewweeks, I realized you have also given me something I thought was lost forever: hope.
I need you to know I want to give you more. I just don’t know if I can find the strength to do it.
-V
I reread, so captivated by the words that I don’t notice Ori leave the room until she returns, holding my ear buds. I can’t recall a time aboard this vessel when my tears were anything besides despair, but as I place a bud in my ear and push play, the tears of joy flow like the melodies, the glue that helps piece me back together. I’m home again.
There will be no avoiding Vallen at the gala, and a thrill that for once isn’t anxiety-coated dread runs through me. If the gala is indeed meant to be a night of celebration, then I’ll need to make it count.
