Page 118 of Between Earth and Eternity
“Skyler,” Pace answers, wearing sweatpants and a T-shirt and looking a bit muddled, his sky-blue eyes heavy.
“Can we talk?”
His nostrils flare, as if he’s sizing me up.
“Please. I didn’t come to fight,” I add.
“Fine.” He steps aside for me to enter.
His room is dark, the lights dimmed, and I find a seat on one of the chairs surrounding his small kitchen table. He takes the other across from me wordlessly.
“So . . .”Don’t attempt small talk, Skyler. Just get to it.“Do you remember what you said to me all those weeks ago back on Base X?” His eyes are empty as he tries to follow. “About our fears? I told you I was terrified of space, and you said what you feared was complicated.”
My question seems to disarm as the memory comes back. “What about it?”
“I am assuming bycomplicated, you meant in relation to Nova,” I whisper the last word.
He nods.
“It must be terrifying to keep such a big secret. How long have you been part of the group anyway?”
He doesn’t respond, just sits in a defiant silence.
“Pace. This isn’t going to get us anywhere if you don’t talk to me.”
“So are you two together now?” he asks, looking at his interlocked hands on the tabletop.
I was foolish to think we would get through this conversation without mentioning Vallen. I didn’t want to, if only to spare Payson’s feelings. But if he wants to bring it up, then so be it.
“Yes,” I say boldly. I won’t sugarcoat it.
His jaw ticks, and I wait for an insult, but his face goes soft, shoulders slumped. “Hard to compete with that, I guess,” he says, breathing deeply through his nose.
“Pace.” He looks at me. “I had no intention of hurting you.”
“Well excuse me if I find that hard to believe.”
I open my mouth, about to apologize, but stop myself before I do. What exactly do I have to be sorry about? If anyone needs to apologize, it’s him. I didn’t purposely hurt him.. It’s not my fault. It’s no one’s fault.
I want to explain that I didn’t plan for what happened with Vallen and me. Hell, I didn’t plan on being drawn from the Lottery, but that’s life. We go on without knowing what’s around the bend.
I won’t deny the connection we share, but a friendship blossomed for Payson and me, not love. I wish he could see that.
“Look, Payson,” I say, sitting up straighter, “this can go one of two ways.”
He glares, leaning back in his chair.
“We can be friends and move on. Or”—I lean forward—“you can hate me and make this uncomfortable for everyone. I’m part of Nova now, and if you’re going to be a nuisance in meetings, glare at Vallen and me the entire time, that’s on you.”
He folds his arms as he stares off. I wait, keeping my eyes locked on his face.
“It’s very convenient that Vallen gets everything he wants. He won, and he already had everything in the first place.”
I sit back, trying to cage up my frustration. He clearly doesn’t know Vallen at all, what he has been through. Even I have only begun to scratch the surface of what Vallen has done for the sake of mankind over the years. He doesn’t deserve the resentment.
“It’s not a competition,” I say through clenched teeth. “And I am not a prize to be ‘won.’”
Pace refuses to look at me. I was already over his tantrums this morning, and this conversation is only making me lose what little patience I had left. He keeps his arms crossed wordlessly.
