Page 14 of Between Earth and Eternity
El grunts in frustration. “Have you thought about what the rest of us will be doing once you’re gone? Don’t be naive, San Fran. You know it won’t get any better for us. We will be stuck dealing with harsh consequences while you get the reward.”
Ouch. I feel tears forming, but I remain silent.
“Be mad if you want. It’s better than lying in bed all day, but it’s not going to . . .”
“Just stop. For once in your life, please just stop,” I say coldly, sliding on my headphones and clicking through my screen absentmindedly.
Defeated, El takes his place at his workstation.
I fight back tears. The last thing I wanted was to fight with him, but he doesn’t get it, as much as he tries or wants to help. No one can understand everything going on inside my head right now. The disappointment in myself that I can’t see the positive in winning a ticket. The fear that is so crippling, I am ashamed. I don’t know how I’m going to do this. How am I going to leave my family behind?
How will I ever be okay with this? The answer is simple.
I won’t.
A few hours go by, and I have not accomplished a single thing. Every time I click on a song, my mind wanders and I have to start over to confirm if we have it on record or not. Music usually offers me the distraction and focus I need, but it has failed me today. Elliot hasn’t attempted to talk to me again, keeping a stiff posture the entire morning as I’ve watched him from the corner of my eye. And I can’t even blame him for being angry and annoyed with me.
There’s only one place I can think of to go. I carefully take off my headphones and gather up my things, waiting to see if El will do anything. He doesn’t. I’m relieved, which makes me feel like a jerk all over again. Stepping out into the hallway, I walk toward the stairs and up to the admin offices. The couple of flights are always a welcome change from sitting at my desk, though I don’t visit my father in his office as much as I used to. When he was aprofessor, I would come here almost every day, but now, I stop by maybe once or twice a month. The work is slowing down for people like Elliot and me, but my father is still under pressure to have everything perfect for Zenith’s departure.
My father’s voice carries from the other side of the door as I approach. “Yes, I understand the strain with launch day drawing near. I have received direct reports that everything will be properly archived and ready.”
“Harris, you howheis,” the voice of Thomas Stafford, Kol’s father, replies, and my stomach twists into knots. “Alister has spent millions on providing E.P.S. all the special equipment and resources to support this little project of yours. He won’t be pleased if it’s a hodgepodge of half-assed work,” he adds.
My father doesn’t counter for several seconds. “Thomas, you know it won’t be. Have I ever not followed through on what I said I would? And you were just as big of an advocate for the E.P.S. as I was at the beginning. What’s changed?”
Thomas chuckles darkly. “What’s changed? Everything, Harris. You really think people need books and music to entertain them? There is much more to offer these days. New. Fresh.”
“This isn’t about entertainment. It’s preservation. What happens when we get to Eden and we have nothing from our past? Plus, why not have multiple mediums of entertainment for the voyage? You don’t want people getting cabin fever on a long journey with nowhere to go. This work is so much more than that, and you know it.”
I hate that Thomas doesn’t care about the E.P.S. yet gets all the credit for my father’s passion and work.
“We are literally persevering what is left of Earth,” my father goes on. “It’s important for history’s sake alone.”
Thomas mumbles something in response that I can’t make out, so I take it as my cue to interrupt. “Hey, Dad!” I exclaim,pushing the door open. My father sits behind his desk while Mr. Stafford stands on the other side, leaning over it slightly, as if to intimidate him.
“Skyler, I’m glad you came by. How are things going down in archiving?” my dad asks with relief, no doubt at me saving him from this conversation.
“It’s going great. I was about to take my break and wanted to see what you were up to.”
My eyes drift over to Thomas as I try to offer him a pleasant smile. His hair is darker than Kol’s but is still a stark red hue.
“Allow me to congratulate you on being drawn from the Lottery, Miss Andrews. You must be thrilled.”
I keep smiling, hoping he doesn’t catch the dread in my eyes. “I am very excited.”
“I must say, Kol was delighted when your name was read. It will be nice for you to know at least one person on Zenith.”
The implication that I couldn’t possibly know anyone important from his world is not lost on me, but it didn’t dawn on me until now that I’ll be trapped on a ship with Kol.
Shit.
“That is fortunate,” my father interrupts. “Well, Thomas, it was good of you to stop by. If Mr. Mannox has any other concerns, please let me know.” He stands, motioning for Mr. Stafford to take his leave.
“You can count on it, Harris. Have a good day.” He offers me a sly smile as he steps out of the office, closing the door behind him.
“Boy, am I glad to see you.” My father plops into his chair and rubs the back of his neck.
“Dad, is everything okay? Are they really giving you a hard time, or is Thomas just being his usual dick self?” Like father, like son.
