Page 11 of Between Earth and Eternity
I stand between two sparkling seas, one of the city below and one of the twinkling lights in the heavens above. Trapped between doom and nightmare. There is nowhere to go, nowhere I can escape my fears or my fate. Reality starts to creep in again now that my body is still, my mind still running a marathon. I wonder what the other winners are doing at this moment. Are they celebrating with their loved ones, filled with relief andexcitement? I wish that were the case for me, that my will for survival could be the force to pull me through.
A sound comes from behind, and I turn to see El bent over with his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath.
“Damn, San Fran. Do you seriously run that every single day?” he asks through exaggerated breaths. “I am impressed.”
I don’t say anything, allowing him to gather himself. In normal circumstances, I would give him grief about his clear need for more cardio, but I don’t have it in me. I am filled with nothing but blind panic and adrenaline. He takes another deep breath and comes to stand next to me before he places his hands on either side of my face to make sure I look at him.
“I’m so sorry.” Three words are all it takes for the floodgates to open. He is the only person I feel like I can truly be myself around, including the times when I am not at my best. A shuddered sob escapes me as he pulls me into a bone-crunching embrace. My hat tumbles to the ground, but neither of us move to pick it up. He just holds me while I cry, stroking my back, repeating “I’m sorry” over and over again. It’s the only thing I need right now, the validation and comfort.
Eventually, I step out of his embrace to look at him. “Thank you for not saying it’s going to be okay.” My voice is scratchy from crying.
“I figure you’ll get plenty of that from everyone else,” he says with a sad smile, his doe-like eyes glassy. If Elliot cries, I’ll break completely. I wipe my eyes and turn back toward the view.
“This is crazy,” he says, standing beside me.
“Completely insane,” I agree.
“At least you have a few more weeks. We’ll make the most of them, I promise.”
Weeks. That’s it. I wish I could turn back time to last night, when the promise ofmaking the most of itmeant years, notweeks. And then it hits me. My chest tightens as I try to draw breath, but my lungs don’t fill with air.
“Oh my god.” I pull at my hair as I start to pace. “Elliot. I can’t do this. There has to be a way out of this.”
“Just breathe, okay?” He puts out a hand affectionately, unsure of what I’ll do next.
“Maybe I could run away, hide out somewhere away from the settlements and—”
“Skyler,” he cuts me off. Henevercalls me Skyler.
“I. Can’t .Do. This,” I cry.
He shakes his head, holding me firmly so I stop my panicked pacing.
“First of all, youcando this. It’s not gonna be easy, but you are going to be just fine.”
I close my eyes tight, trying to hold back the tears.
“Hey. Look at me,” he says calmly. Tears flood my vision, but I do as he says. “Secondly...and I’m sorry, but you don’t have a choice.”
My eyebrows pinch together. “Surely I can do something? Give my spot to someone else? Like Gran. Her health is only getting worse.”
“You know the rules, San Fran.” He’s not wrong. “Listen, you won’t be alone. Yes, the majority of the ship will be filled with rich, self-absorbed assholes, but there are the other winners. They’ll be in the same position as you.”
“But that’s the other problem, El. I’m not like you. I’m not good at making friends. I’m not brave.”
“What are you talking about? Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not. I’m too awkward or I’ll do something incredibly stupid.”
“Oh, I have no doubt you’ll do something stupid.” He chuckles, so I punch his arm.
“I’m serious. I can’t make friends with strangers like you can. The only reason I had other friends besides you was because of you.”
He shakes his head while rubbing his arm where my punch landed. “Oh please.”
“You’re the only person who will be completely honest with me. I need that more than ever now. So please. Be honest.”
He looks at me with an intensity that I have never seen from him before as he holds my hands. “I have not and will never lie to you, San Fran. You are my best friend, and I am going to miss you like hell.” I choke back tears as he goes on. “I wouldn’t just pick some ordinary girl to be my best friend.”
