Page 8 of Party Crasher
The moment the words leave my mouth, I know I've stepped in it. Her face closes off completely, like shutters slamming shut.
She pulls her hands free. "Let me be very clear, Cade. I don't want your money. It's the least attractive thing about you." Her voice is quiet but steel-edged. "I chose this life. This cabin retreat, this town, this simple morning. It's exactly what I want."
"Yes, I get it. But it could be so much more, is all I’m?—"
She sets down her coffee mug with a sharp clink that might as well be a gunshot. "You think I need rescuing. That my choices aren't good enough unless they come with a price tag." She's bustling around the kitchen with sharp movements that scream barely controlled anger. "You should head over to your brother's. I need to get back to my real life."
“I don’t think any of that. I just don’t want to walk away from you right now, not ever. Connection like this never happens. You’re incredible, and I want every moment with you while I’m here—” Before I can finish, she turns to face me.
There are tears in her eyes that she's fighting hard not to let fall. "Last night, you made me feel chosen. Beautiful. I loved every minute of it. Having all of that charisma trained on me like I was the only woman in the world was irresistible. But I'm not delusional, Cade. I know that this is what you do. It’s who you are. You can have anyone and anything and I get it. Butplease don’t humor me. I'm not the only one who's fallen for you. Let’s leave last night, the incredible moment it was.”
“No, you’re wrong.” I fold my arms over my chest.
“Cade, you've always needed more than this town could give you. You need someone who'll fall all over themselves for your money and status. That's never going to be me. So let it be done. Have a beautiful Christmas with Creed and the boys.”
The accusation hits like a punch to the gut because there's truth in it. "How am I fucking this up so much? I just want to give you everything you want.”
"I don't need nice things." Her voice breaks on the words. "I need someone who thinks what I already have is worth something." She grabs her coat from the hook by the door. “I’m heading out to organize bike deliveries to kids who'll be thrilled with them. Not because they're expensive, but because someone cared enough to show up." She pauses at the door, her hand on the knob. “Maybe I’ll see you next time you pass through town.”
And then she's gone. Josie leaves me standing in the cabin’s tiny kitchen. I’m surrounded by the scent of gingerbread candles, coffee, and the echo of my own stupidity. My chest hollows out, and for a moment, I think I might be sick.
I wait half an hour before I call Creed for a ride. The truth settles over me in the silence. I’ve spent years surrounded by people who only cared about what I could give them. Now I’ve found the one woman who sees me for who I am, and somehow I've just pushed her away.
As Creed’s truck pulls up the drive, two truths emerge. First, my nephews don’t care about the presents. Second, there’s no way in hell I’m letting Josie walk away.
7
JOSIE
It's beena full twenty-four hours since I walked out of the cabin and left Cade standing in the kitchen. It took everything I had to walk away, and somehow I only feel worse as the hours tick by.
I've spent all my energy trying to forget about what was hands down the best night of my life. When that didn’t work, I moved on to convincing myself that I did the right thing. Spoiler alert… another fail.
The whiplash in moving from a real-life Hallmark movie to reality makes me sick, and that is after a single night with him.Imagine having an entire week of Cade’s adoration.Even if he stayed for the length of his entire break, it isn’t sustainable. He’s got a life to go back to, and it isn’t in Deadwood.
My chest literally aches when I think of the way I ended things with Cade. Not metaphorically either. There's an actual physical pain where my heart should be when I think of the shattered look on his face.But what choice did I have?
On top of everything else, walking back into my apartment came with the realization that I wasted all my Christmas cheerout at the cabin. There isn’t a seasonal mug in sight. I came home cheer-free and broken-hearted.
That's why I dragged myself out of bed before dawn and made my way through the icy streets to our Santa's Cruisers headquarters. This year, we’re set up in the center bay at the local firehouse, and there’s plenty of action to keep me distracted. But not even these guys can hold a candle to Cade.
Still, it’s better to stay busy than sit at home feeling sorry for myself. Cade was never mine to lose in the first place. What was a once-in-a-lifetime scenario for me was probably nothing more than an average Tuesday for him.
Besides, I got what I wanted. I had a peaceful getaway at my family’s cabin, riddled with cheer before the holiday chaos. Except now it's Christmas Eve, and somehow I'm the least jolly I’ve ever been. There's something particularly cruel about having everything you’ve ever wanted dangled in front of you, only to watch it slip through your fingers.
"Are you okay?" Katie's voice cuts through my brooding.
When I look up, she's studying my face with the laser focus that made her such a good prosecutor before she became a full-time wife and mother. It’s nice to see her getting back to her old self.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Right. You seem totally fine. Okay, we will chat in a moment."
“I don’t—” I start, but Katie’s already moved on.
She shifts my niece Emma to her other hip as she surveys a row of bikes. "We need another red bow over here, please."
Katie points, and two volunteers rush toward her, ribbons in hand. The bikes will undoubtedly look perfect. But right now, I’m just grateful that she’s been distracted. This event isn’t about me, and I don’t plan on monopolizing it with my wallowing.
