Page 87 of Phantom Faceoff
They’re too far away to make out any details, but my body is intimately familiar with Zander’s sleepy rumble.
I give it all of a minute before my body is buzzing to be close to his, and even though I’m only in a borrowed pair of briefs and sweats, I make my way to my boyfriend’s voice.
He’s standing at the kitchen counter with a mug of coffee in his hands, blowing on the steam but stopping to smile when his eyes land on me.
“Hey there, sexy.” His eyes drink me in, causing a flush to spread over my body. “We have milk and sugar, but none of the fancy shit.”
It’s a good thing I’ve never been warmer or more alert than I am with Zander’s hungry gaze making silent promises.
A deep chuckle from across the room reminds me that we aren’t alone, and I spot his teammate, Ellis, sitting in one of the two chairs at the tiny dining table in the corner.
“Look who stayed to socialize,” he says in a laid back, humorous tone. “I’ve heard you upstairs but ain’t seen you do the walk of shame yet.”
My face flames, and Zander wraps an arm around my waist. “What shame?” he asks, dropping a kiss on my neck. “Pretty sure my boyfriend has a pass to hang out whenever he wants.”
Ellis’ eyes go wide, and his mouth stretches into a wide grin. “No shit? Halefire got himself a boyfriend? That mean no more party benders with Ash?”
Zander groans and hops up on the counter, pawing at me until I’m tucked between his legs with my back to his chest.His arms hang around my shoulders and his thighs squeeze me against him.
“The last time I let Ash get me drunk, I almost died. No thank you.”
His fingers play not-so-innocently on my sternum, making slow paths to circle my nipples but not touch them. Zander and Ellis are still chatting, but the blood pumping in my ears drowns it out.
He drags his nails down my ribs, making little suggestive strokes along the waistband of the sweats I’m wearing.
The air around us gets heavy, and it isn’t until I have to physically gasp to take in a breath that I realize it wasn’t the atmosphere, it was justme.
“Whoa. Hey, babe, you alright?”
We talked about Zander picking an alternative to “Daddy” when we’re in public, and based on the glare I gave him when he suggested “Babe” that’s what he decided to go with.
“Fine,” I grumble, rubbing at a sore spot on my chest.
He tilts my head back for a kiss, and the moment he prods my mouth with his tongue, it happens again. My chest feels tight, and I have to fight to force air into my lungs.
“Sorry.” I push away from him and try for a lighthearted smile, but I’m already starting to feel a little hazy. “I should get back. Check in with Jules.”
Zander waves his phone in the air. “Already filled him in. You can stay as long as you want.”
When I hesitate, he frowns. There’s a hint of hurt reflecting off the hazel in his eyes, but when he grabs my hand I feel the heaviness trying to settle in.
I don’t mean to jerk away, but that’s what happens anyway.
“Fuck. Sorry. I need … a minute.” I turn and hurry toward the front of the house, barely bothering to grab my phone and wallet from the coffee table before hightailing it out the door.
The first gulp of fresh air balms the sting in my lungs, and after a couple of minutes sitting on the curb with my head between my knees things start to clear.
I wasfinewhen we had sex. I wasfinewhen he touched me in the shower. When he touched me as we laid on the couch.
Why is this happeningnow?
The body never forgets the trauma it’s endured.
And Mack damn sure traumatized it.
What’s worse than the pain in my body is the ache in my heart. Because I had hoped to keep this at bay for a little bit longer. To spare Zander the awful details of my last relationship.
That’s what hits me hardest. Hurts the most.
