Page 34 of Phantom Faceoff
“How do you follow this?” I ask, trying and failing to make any sense of the game.
Julian shoves his shoulder into mine and chuckles. “Hot, sweaty men, Mal.”
If only it were that easy. If only I could look at a man, spot my attraction, and justgo for it.That’s one of the things I admire about Julian. He’s friendly. Outgoing. Knows what he wants and isn’t afraid to search it out.
It’s how he ended up on that kink site. And it’s how I ended up being his stand-in Daddy.
I only know the game is over when a loud buzzer sounds, followed by Julian jumping to his feet and dragging me with him. The arena is packed, noisy, and I have no clue which way will lead me outside, but eventually that’s where we find ourselves.
The sky is bright blue littered with perfectly white clouds. Julian must have taken us out a side door, because the foot traffic has nearly disappeared. I lean against the side of the building, catching my breath.
Large crowds make me lightheaded. It’s one of a few reasons why—even with my love of music—I’ve never been to a concert. It’s on my bucket list, but I haven’t felt like chancing the panic attack.
With my eyes closed and face tilted toward the sky, I can almost forget where we are. Can almost imagine I’m on my lunch break at the record store. If only I had my earbuds, but I didn’t want to risk them getting dropped and crushed.
Julian’s high-squealed laugh draws me out of the daydream, and I open my eyes to see him with his legs around Zander’s waist, and the other’s hands on his ass.
Lovely.
They exchange a hurried, flurry of kisses before breaking away and Zander glancing at me over Julian’s shoulder.
“Enjoy the game?” His blond hair is damp and tousled, and I can’t tell if it’s from sweat or a shower.
My deadpan expression only makes his grin widen. “You’re a smug bastard.”
“A smug bastard,” Julian cuts in, “who is about to get laid.”
I hate the way my heart twinges at the soft expression on Zander’s face. At how he cups the back of Julian’s head so gently to meet his lips in another kiss.
I’m happy that Jules is happy, but I think I’ve had my fill of people for the day.
“Why don’t you two take it back to the dorm? I’ve got some class work to catch up on, so I’ll hit up the library.”
Julian’s reaction is one of gratitude, while Zander’s is … something else. Curiosity?
“Just don’t get jizz on my bed.”
That makes him crack a smile, and Julian jumps down from Zander’s arms long enough to engulf me in a bear hug before dragging the hockey player off toward his own truck.
My best friend certainly has a one track mind.
The library thing was a total lie. Instead, I take up space at one of the on-campus coffee houses in an unoccupied corner surfing a kink forum not unlike the one I found Julian on.
It’s more lurking than interacting on my part, though I did have to create an account to have access. Only a few pages in, and I realize I may have stumbled too hard into the dynamic. Bitten off more than I can chew.
As my head starts to spin trying to understand all the terminology, I come across a post promoting another site. It’s … colorful.
There’s pictures akin to what you’d find in a children’s picture book with clearly labeled pages with their own illustrations. Despite the cutesy look, the information is very blunt and obviously geared toward adults.
I’ve been inferring a lot of information from my talks with Julian and the fanfictions I’ve read, but having it laid out plainly … I don’t feel like I’m a Daddy in the full sense of taking care of a Little, but at the same time, I feel a deeper connection to the idea than just a kinky bedroom phrase.
I enjoy the domesticity of taking care of someone, but not to the point of micromanaging or punishing.
Taking care of someone is comforting; that’s something I’ve learned over the years with Julian and that’s only been reinforced since trying out this new dynamic. I feel a sort of possessiveness over the well being of people I care about.
It’s something I feel toward Julian, but in the case of the skating incident, I also felt an inkling of it for Zander.
Not an inkling. An inferno.
