Page 35 of Phantom Faceoff
I was so overcome with rage for his lack of care about either of their safety that I didn’t dare speak for the duration of the hospital visit least something come out wrong.
Because I was angry, but that anger was deeply overshadowed by worry. Worry that this is the kind of shit Zander gets himself into all of the time, and he doesn’t seem to have the same level of care for himself that he exhibits to Julian.
I know I come across as harsh and demanding, and I didn’t want to upset Julian or bark anything out until I could get my thoughts together.
Which they still aren’t. I want something. It’s just under the surface. But I can’t name it.
Staring at the screen for so long starts to make my head hurt, so I decide that I’ve spent an adequate amount of time fucking off. Now that the sky is tinted shades of pink and orange, all I want to do is crawl into bed with my music and shut my brain off for a while.
It’s not a long walk back to the dorm, but it’s a nice day out, so I take my time enjoying the sunshine and warm breeze.
If it weren’t for Julian, I never would have applied to NHU in the first place. It’s a smaller school in a relatively small town in terms of housing a college. I was ready to pack my bags and step foot out of the group home the day I turned eighteen without a hint of a plan.
It didn’t matter if I had a place to stay, a job, money for food; I was ready to be out. But Julian is a couple of months younger, and I wouldn’t leave him there alone.
He’s the one who filled out the applications. Who dealt with transcripts and scholarships. For once, being foster kids came in handy, because the state paid for our first two years.
And now? It’s comfortable. Safe.
I don’t know what either of us is going to do after.
Despite the walk being relaxing, my head is filled with too much gunk not to be exhausted by the time I walk up the too-many flights of stairs to our dorm room. Maybe next year we should push for one of the student houses. Though, the funding for that is trickier.
The door clicks open without resistance, and I’m prepared to beeline for my desk and get huddled away as soon as possible, but the universe hurls me one final curve ball.
Zander Hale, naked as the day he was born, sprawled out on Julian’s bed with one arm folded behind his head and the other pressing on the back of Julian’s head over his lap.
My first thought is:they’re still going at it?
The second? Zander’s sex sounds are entirely too arousing. They’re wet and wanton, like he’s never had to hold himself back a day in his life.
His eyes slide open slow and hazy, but it doesn’t take half a second for his attention to drift from the man sucking his dick to the doorway where I’m still standing. It’s like the first night they fucked with me in the room; I’m too stunned and turned on to look away.
He opens his mouth like he’s going to call out, but when I take a half step back, all that comes out is a long, drawn-out moan.
Fuck.
The room sounds and smells like sex. It’s in a state of disarray that I can only assume is from their total lack of consideration.
“Deeper, baby,” Zander groans, wrapping a fist in Julian’s hair, hips rocking off and on the bed in a hypnotic motion.
He’s still looking at me. Panting. Moaning. Growling out “fuck yes” and “good boy” as his eyes roam from my face to the hard on tenting my pants. Tight jeans are a poor choice when you’ve got an erection.
Zander lick his lips, and when his eyes start to flutter closed, he snaps them back open.
I have enough self control not to touch myself behind my best friend’s back. Literally. Especially not to the sight of his fuck-buddy getting off.
Some lines we don’t cross.
But holy fuck do I want to.
I want Zander Hale, and the amount of shame burning through me does nothing to stamp out that desire.
I am undeniably, horribly attracted to him.
There’s no warning when he comes, but goddamn does he make a show of it. Entire body going taut, hips bowing off the mattress, and the most cock-achingly obscene moan slips past his lips.
All the while, his hazel iris’s bore into mine.
