Page 61 of Cherry Picking
I don’t knowwhen the thought of coming out stopped scaring me. When getting caught felt more like a thrill and less like a fear.
Claiming Griff as mine never felt more right than with my arms around him at the park with strangers’ eyes boring down on us.
That doesn’t erase the terror that still encompasses me, but now I can’t explain why.
Why do I feel like I’ve damaged something precious instead of salvaging it?
Griff asked for an inch, and I gave him a mile. I thought pushing through would make the panic lessen, but instead my heart only aches worse in my chest.
It was those few days without him that did me in. Took me to the brink of what I could handle, and I knew something had to give.
Maybe it shouldn’t have been me.
Or maybe I’m terrified to lose the shield I’ve spent thirty years hiding behind.
“You’re disclosing that the two of you have been in a romantic relationship for the past two years?”
Griff drums his fingers over his bouncing knee and gives Coach a tight smile. “Yes, sir.”
If it’s any consolation, Coach doesn’t look angry. Or annoyed. Or concerned. If anything, I’d say he looks relieved. Tired even.
“Have you talked to the team yet?”
“We wanted to give you the courtesy of knowing first.”
When Coach looks up, those pointed daggers are directed straight at me. “Do all of my players think I’m oblivious? You aren’t the first couple to think they can sneak under my radar, but you’re the first to be honest.”
“Wait, what?” Griff pitches forward, and I have to anchor my hand on his thigh to keep him seated.
“Don’t even think about it, Foster. I’m not at liberty to discuss any current or past relationships not made public to the team.”
Griff and I share a look that says we both have the same suspicion of who that could be about, but Coach is right, and it isn’t our place to push anyone out of the closet.
“As long as you come to us if there are any grievances or issues between the two of you, our faculty will support and respect your relationship and wishes.”
As soon as I breathe a sigh of relief, Coach continues. “In saying that, is there an official statement you’d like to make, or are we keeping this friends and family oriented?”
I don’t even get a moment to give it a thought before Griff is shaking his head and pushing to his feet.
“Just us and the team. People are going to think and have opinions on whatever they want. We can’t control that. This is between us and the people we care about.”
Coach nods and makes a sweeping gesture toward the door. “Your teammates should start showing up anytime now. Feel free to take care of business before practice, but keep it off the ice. Understand?”
We agree, and my stomach is twisted up in so many knots I don’t realize I’m sitting on a bench with Griff’s hands on my shoulders until a cold rush of air hits my lungs telling me I wasn’t breathing.
A couple of guys have started stripping down to get in their gear, but other than a quick glance, no one bothers us.
“You okay?”
Griff is crouched between my knees, one hand on my thigh and the other cradling my neck as he brings our heads together. I close my eyes and grip the bench with tight fingers, one slow, solid breath in at a time.
“We don’t have to do this.”
“We don’t have to do this,” Matty says with his hand in mine as we approach the practice building doors.
The pressure lifts off my shoulders, and I slip my hand free to watch his rest limply at his side. Matty smiles and tugs on his ponytail.
“Raincheck?”
