Page 22 of Cherry Picking
“He, um … wow, this is weird.” He chuckles nervously and scrubs a hand over his eyes. “He liked having his body worshiped, I guess? He liked things slow, lots of attention on him. Not that he didn’t give it back—don’t get me wrong. If there’s a record for the world's longest blowjob and longest time holding out, I’m sure we’ve got it.”
Oh.Oh, that’s kind of hot. But I shouldn’t tell him that. He’s being vulnerable right now.
“Matty was the definition of a man you make love to. It worked out because I loved him so fucking much. I wanted to give him everything that I had.”
“But you weren’t ready to be out.”
His smile is sad as he nods slowly. “I wasn’t ready then, and I’m not ready now. I don’t know why. I don’t know what’s holding me back. But every time I think about telling anyone … when I think about putting words to these feelings … my throat closes. I panic. Matty never cared. He had his own secrets, ones I’d never tell for him, not even to you, Griff. We understood each other. We loved each other.”
He drops his head to his fists. “But when Matty was ready to move on and be open … I wasn’t. I never wanted to hold him back, so when he asked me to talk to the GM about trading me to Boston so I could move with him, I told him no. That I wanted him to be happy and free, and that I knew he couldn’t have that with me.”
I hate watching Riley’s heart break. I hate seeing him relive what must be one of the most painful memories of his life.
“And I was right,” he whispers, finally looking at me and killing me inside because his eyes are wet. “Matty looked happier than I’ve ever seen him.”
I don’t know where Riley stands on hugging for comfort, so I offer a hand on his back and one on his thigh with gentle pressure.
“Don’t do that to yourself.”
“What? Be honest?”
“Beat yourself up.” I stand up abruptly and hold out a hand to him. “His happiness isn’t a failure on your part. If you’re half as attentive as a boyfriend as you are as a friend, you’re pretty incredible. So you aren’t ready to be out? Make the most of what you can behind closed doors.”
He gives me a confused smile but takes my hand and follows me across the room. “Are you about to tell me the upside to all of this is sex? Which I’m not having because random hookups kind of jeopardize the whole ‘in the closet’ thing.”
“It’s more about taking your mind off the sad things. Letting you imagine what moving on might be like.”
“That sounds more depressing.”
“Trust me, Riley.” I back myself into the wall outside the bathroom, pulling him with me and guiding his hand to the wall beside my head. “Pretend like you’re going to kiss me.”
Wide eyes show an edge of panic, and I put my hands flat on his chest. “You don’t have to actually do it. Just go through the motions with me.”
Slowly, he raises a hand to the side of my neck, gentle fingers carding through the hair there, and his thumb traces my jaw until it fits nicely beneath and tilts my chin up. His mouth comes so close to mine I wonder if he’ll actually do it, but he stops a breath away that leaves every muscle aching to chase him.
“Good. Don’t think about what Matty liked. Think about what you like. What you want to try. Move your hands wherever. I’ll stay right here.”
It doesn’t take much encouragement for him to lose a hand in my hair, twisting and tugging until the pressure hits just right, and an involuntary moan slips past my lips.
He freezes for half a second, and then he’s pulling on me with more force, dropping his free hand to my chest and forcing me tighter against the wall. There’s a pause, he steps back a fraction, and with his hand in my hair, I follow.
Then, he slams me into the wall as he lowers his lips in mock kisses along my neck. The groan that leaves me is one of unmistakable arousal and not pain.
“I’m not delicate, Easton,” I whisper into his ear as he digs his nose into my throat. “If you need to be rough, I can take it.”
The next thing I know, he’s yanking my legs around his hips and rutting his hard cock into the crease of my thigh.
Fuck.
He smacks a hand on the wall, the other circled around my waist to keep me secure.
“Bold move, big guy,” I say on a breathy exhale, and he looks up at me with half a sheepish smile.
“Sorry. I just …”
I grip the collar of his shirt and shake my head. “I’ve been teasing you for months. Want to give it back to me?”
I’m sure there’s a line between pretending and the real thing, but I wouldn’t know it if I saw it because Riley’s hands, weight, and cock on me are too good for me to see straight.
