Page 105 of The Unhinged Christmas of a Cat Lady
“Hey,” he says, eyes flicking over me. “Come in.”
I step inside, and the warmth of the house hits me like a wave. Familiar now. Comfortable. That makes what I have to do even harder.
Before I can say anything, he sets the book down, closes the door behind me, and leans in.
His hand cups the side of my face, thumb brushing just under my jaw, and then he kisses me—long, deep, like he’s anchoring something. I kiss him back, because I don’t know how not to.
But as I do, the thought breaks through—sharp and sudden:
This could be the last time.
And something in my chest aches with it.
I let the kiss linger longer than I should, even as my heart folds in on itself.
He pulls back slowly, his hand still warm against my cheek, and searches my face like he’s trying to read a map with half the landmarks missing.
Then he steps aside, guiding me gently into the living room without a word.
The lamp in the corner casts everything in that soft, honey-coloured glow that always makes his house feel gentler than it should.
“I just wanted to say thank you,” I start. “For helping SJ. And… the hot chocolate. He said it was really good.”
Jasper leans against the doorframe, arms folded loosely across his chest.
“No problem,” he says. But he doesn’t look away.
He watches me for a second longer, then asks, voice low, “What did you really come over for?”
I take a breath. Then another. It doesn’t help.
“I think…” My voice wobbles. I clear my throat and try again. “I think maybe we should just be friends... for now.”
He doesn’t flinch. Doesn’t move. But something about the air in the room changes. Tighter, somehow.
I press on, the words coming quickly, like if I stop, I won’t be able to start again.
“I don’t know what I’m doing. With anything. And Sim-Sim, he’s not who he was. He’s different. Calmer. More involved. It’s making me question things, and I don’t want to lie to you about that.”
Jasper doesn’t say anything.
I keep going. “He told SJ I might come to Cornwall for Christmas. With them. And SJ got so excited. I just don’t think I can take that away from him. Not if there’s even the smallest chance it could work, for his sake.” I pause, feeling the heat rise behind my eyes. “So I think I need to go. To figure it out. I don’t know what I’ll find, or how I’ll feel. But I think I have to see.”
Still, nothing from Jasper.
I shift on the sofa, wrapping my arms around myself. “I need you to know… it’s not you. If this were just about me, if I didn’t have SJ to think about, I’d pick you. I know you’re the right choice.”
That hangs there, heavy and awful. I look up.
“And I’m sorry,” I add quietly. “I really, really am.”
I stand, awkwardly, fumbling for something to say, something that will make this feel less like the worst idea I’ve ever had.
“I should go,” I murmur.
I move toward the door, but he reaches out—not to stop me, not forceful—just a hand on my wrist, gentle.
“Wait.”
