Page 82 of Queen of the Night
Tatania dries her hands with a soft cloth. “What happened, my dear, to crush your spirit?”
I’m silent for a long moment, deciding if I have the energy to speak. “Renton, as you call him, killed someone I loved.”
Possibly killed, the little voice of hope shouts. The numbness claps a hand over its mouth.
She frowns. “What happened?”
I shake my head. It’s too complicated. Too tragic to tell herthat I fell in love with the very king she warned me away from, only to have him die.
The look she gives me reeks of pity, and I loathe it. “You have suffered great losses in your life, Avenara.” She better be going somewhere good with this, or I will lash out with no regret. “But what if you’d given up on life after your parents died?”
She lets the question sit like it’s supposed to change my sorrow, motivate me, even. I know she’s trying to help, but it’s too soon for words like those. Recalling all the pain I’ve felt only deepens my numbness and feelings of defeat. My fear. What if Mama Tina dies too? And Renna? Rupi? I’ll bealone.
I want to lie down on these furs and go to sleep forever. Find Ikar in my dreams and be free of worry or care or sadness. It’s all too much right now. So I sit silently, without expression, feeling like a shell of myself.
“Think on it, but dinner is any moment now. Give me your clothing and we’ll wash it… or perhaps… burn it.” She eyes the blood on me distastefully.
“I’ll wear them as they are.”
She sighs. “Always so stubborn.”
Voices outside the door prompt me to find out if my body will move like I want it to. “It’s kept me alive this long,” I mutter as I climb grudgingly, and ever-so-wearily, to my feet.
Tatania raises a disapproving brow. “Are yousureyou don’t want to change your clothes?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything.”
I’ll carry his blood on my clothing like a battle flag. The rebellion in my heart makes me feel a little more alive. She purses her lips as if she wishes to scold me further, but I see the corners of her eyes soften as she continues to stare at me.
Our attention turns to the door, watching the gloam seepaway before it swings open, revealing a petite woman with streaks of gray in hair that is braided far more intricately than I’ve ever attempted on my own.
She curtseys so deeply her gray dress pools on the ground. “Avenara.” She rises and offers a smile. “My name is Gretta, and I’ve come to take you to dinner.” Then she turns to look at Tatania with a small nod. “Tatania.”
I step back from her. “Don’t do that.” Not to me. I’m not that sort of person.
“Do what?” she asks, as if she’s truly confused.
“None of this.” I mimic her curtsey, albeit sloppily.
“I was instructed by the king?—”
“Just… don’t do it when he’s not around.”
Her eyes are wide, and I can’t tell what she thinks of me now, but it’s better than the blazing awe in her eyes combined with that horribly deep curtsey. She doesn’t agree before she turns and sweeps out the door. “This way.”
I’m hardly surprised when two guards split off and follow us, but Iamsurprised when Tatania stays behind.
“Wait, what about Tatania?” I ask Gretta.
“She was not invited. Not tonight.”
That doesn’t sit well with me, but I don’t have enough emotion left to put up a fuss. I end up following quietly while I take in what appears to be a house built entirely ofgloam. I’ve never seen anything like it.
“Where are we?”
“The Lucent Mountains.”
I’d choke if I had enough spit in my mouth. “How long have you been here?”
