Page 62 of Queen of the Night
He looks at the box almost reverently. “Time to get on with the next part of our mission.”
If I swallowed a rock, I think this is about how it’d feel. I don’t need to ask what the next part of the mission is. It’s the part where they find a Queen of the Night—a Black Tulip. If they can find an elusive field of tulips secreted in the dangerous and gloam-filled Lucent Mountains, I’m certain they’ll find what they’re looking for next, no matter how well we hide.
And if he happens not to find what he’s looking for? I think about the way he stared at the path. For a moment, I thought he’d do it. Duty-bound, honorable, and self-sacrificing, as usual. I feel immediate revulsion, bordering on panic, at the thought of a world without Ikar. With his steady presence beside me, his sure steps and wise gaze—that fate seems unreal. He’s too capable to resort to something like that. But images of the gloam monsters, news of more deaths sweeping across every village and city, the way gloam infests the land…
I remember the surety in Rhosse’s words when he told me they’d never give up. Maybe he’d really do it—drat his honor. What about that… response from Lucentia, if that’s what it was? Does that mean she’d accept his life as payment?
I swallow tightly, imagining him before Lucentia, dying as she sucks the life from him, taking his mark and magic by death. Ikar doesn’t deserve that fate. I think back to our conversation and inwardly wince at the way I’d so callously told him his family had botched everything.
“Ikar?”
He’s about to start walking toward Rhosse and Darvy, but he stops and looks my way. I’m taken aback at the absolute sureness that emanates from him. If I thought he had a kingly sort of presence before, it’s nothing like now. I’m left wondering how simply receiving a flower changed him so much.
One of his brows rises. “Yes?”
His blue eyes delve into mine so intently that I struggle to remember what I was asking.
I have to look away to gather my thoughts again. “I told you that your family line should be ended before I knew you were king, but now that I know the truth…” I let the words drift off because I’m not certain how to say what I want to say.
“Now that you know the truth…?”
“Please don’t do it,” I whisper, my eyes finally meeting his gaze again.
I’ve never felt like such a beggar in my life. I see in his eyesthat he knows what I refer to, and he immediately throws up walls to block me from seeing any further emotion.
“I can’t promise that.” His voice is quiet, harsh. “I’m selfish enough to keep my kingdom waiting, suffering, dying, while I search for a Black Tulip that may or may not accept me. But I can’t let it go on like this forever. If this plan fails, I’ll return here, to Lucentia.”
He doesn’t realize how personal his threat is. I can do nothing but soberly nod. We should be enemies, but it grows harder and harder to maintain that mindset the longer I’m with him. And that leads me to wondering… if Tatania knew Ikar, would she approve of him? The more I get to know him, the more I respect him. Not many can match his sense of honor. Would she give her permission, her blessing for one of the Black Tulips to bridge with him?
My cheeks heat at the thought of even asking. I know what her answer would be.
I don’t want Ikar to die, but neither do the Black Tulips deserve to die again, now or in the future. Apparently, one king deemed worthy turned evil enough to kill the very Tulips he was meant to protect, and it could happen again. But how can doing the right thing, keeping my identity hidden, feel so wrong? I just need to make it a couple more days, just long enough to finish this job, and then I’ll leave.Run away. Begin my long-dreamed-of plans.Like a coward. And forget about Ikar.Nurse my broken heart.
Chapter 36
Ikar
“You did it!” Darvy strides forward and gives me a brotherly clap on the back.
I can’t stop the grin that forms. He’s right. We did it. I have the tulip. I also know I’m worthy. That knowledge alone has healed a festering wound within me. I don’t know what made me attempt to speak to her across her field with the path wide open before me, but the words I spoke aloud to her were answered with an overwhelming knowledge that Lucentia finds meworthy. I can’t explain it. My mark may still be black as ink, but the hole left by years of doubt is now filled with determined confidence. I can feel it in my soul.
Rhosse leans in, squeezing my shoulder. “You’re the only one who ever doubted.”
I glance at Vera. “Don’t know about that.”
He follows my gaze. “She’ll come around.”
He seems so sure, but I truly doubt it, and it does no good to discuss it.
I eye the second sun, close to setting, the third soon behindit. We could probably make it back to the nymphs by the middle of night, but with the gloam as thick as it is…
“We’ll camp here and leave in the morning.” Everyone seems to relax a bit, and I continue. “That gives us one day and a night to reach the border.”
I’m not sure how Lucentia feels about people sleeping within the bounds of her field, but the gloam is so dense outside these fir trees that no one wants to risk sleeping in it. Even from this distance and within the haven of Lucentia’s personal garden, I hear the snarls of beasts and woeful howling grow louder as the suns set.
We stay well within the treeline and set out our bedrolls. Rhosse takes Vera into the trees to teach her how to hunt. She looks horrified at the thought, and even appears to look to me to intervene. I say nothing, knowing these skills are vital. I won’t always be by her side to ensure she’s cared for, so while I want to rescue her from this, I don’t—it’s time she learns.
They manage to capture a plump rabbit that Vera refuses to clean and prepare, acting as if we made her kill her own pet. Even after it’s roasted, she simply picks at the meat. I shake my head and sigh. I look at her once more and find her face still a shade paler than normal. This journey has taken a toll on all of us.
