Page 99 of Queen of the Night
Before I can, though, I realize he has other ideas—none of which include spilling my deepest secrets or reveling in thisincredible embrace. He tugs my arms from around him and sets me back, appearing to search for injuries.
“Are you hurt?” he asks.
“I’m okay, just my boot…”
His eyes grow dark with anger as he looks over my shoulder. “Their leader, or one of the soldiers?” One hand gravitates toward his sword as if he’s going to charge into Renton’s camp and kill every one of them this very night.
“Gloam beast.”
“One and the same,” he mutters.
The sounds of monsters grow closer, and with the smoke mixing with gloam in the air and seeping into the treeline, I can’t tell if I just saw shadowed figures or if it’s simply my adrenaline-fueled imagination seeing things.
“We have to go,” Rhosse whispers from somewhere behind us.
Ikar is still looking toward the camp, eyes dark and a muscle in his jaw tight as if he truly considers going to battle this very moment. I snag his hand and tug him along after me, diverting him from his murderous intentions without another word. He lets me, though he mutters something I can’t quite catch but sounds horribly violent beneath his breath as he follows.
We run to catch up, but I can hardly keep track of Darvy and Rhosse ahead of us. They’re so quiet—like wraiths moving silently amongst the trees. I don’t say anything, content to follow their lead, and more relieved than anything to be reunited with my friends and not traversing this forest on my own.
I nearly fall several times, tripping over crooked branches I’m positive lift from the forest floor just to drag me down, bushes clawing at my trousers and scratching my boots, and shadows that play with my vision, but always, Ikar is there.Our gazes lock for moments at a time, and the intensity of those looks and the questions that beg to be answered between us weave a thick awareness. There are so many things I need to say, so many questions to ask. While we’ve shared a kiss-and-a-half and attraction is strung tight between us… after the things I did, the secrets I’ve kept, I have no idea where we stand. Did his honor drive him to come for me… or his heart?
I refuse to hope for more when it could be crushed.Just be grateful they came.
I fight to keep my eyes on the ground ahead of me, but like my magic, all they want is Ikar. I still wonder, as waves of disbelief wash over me, if I’m hallucinating, seeing him beside me. When we finally take a longer break from our steady jog to walk a few minutes, through the patches of moonlight that snake through the spindly trees, I notice he looks exhausted and sweat dots his brow.
Darvy drops back and quietly asks him something, but Ikar merely shakes his head… and why is his arm pressed to his side like that? I frown. Is he not fully recovered, or has it just been a very long day? I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so… weary.
Rupi coasts to his shoulder and he greets her, stroking her feathers gently. She leans into his touch, appearing perfectly content to have her favorite perch back. I envy my bird and the attention she receives from him, but I let her enjoy it. She did, after all, endure captivity with me—she deserves it.
Darvy retakes the lead with Rhosse, and I might not have time to tell Ikar everything I need to right now, but I have to saysomething.
I work up all my courage and finally whisper words that have never been more true. “I’m glad you’re alive.”
It seems too small an offering—not enough.The emotion and feelings I feel are so much more, but here in this forest, on the run…
Ikar’s eyes delve into mine, and I hate how guarded they are.“Saved me, even after you ran.”
I don’t blame him for being confused; I would be too. I can sense the question in his statement, as if he’s as unsure of where we stand as I am, and the only one to blame isme. Guilt tightens my lungs. How can he not know how much I care for him? Didn’t my reaction to finding him in the forest hint at my feelings? Maybe, maybe not. I’ve been sending mixed messages for weeks. All the hurtful things I’ve said to him seem to echo in my head, and I inwardly cringe at the way I ran from him, refused to trust him, lied to him… led him to injury.It feels as if I swallow a rock, but I intend to fix the pain I’ve caused the best I can, and that starts now.
“I’d do it again.” I keep my voice low, but my tone is firm, bold even, as I force myself to maintain unwavering eye contact in the weak light.
One corner of his mouth lifts, hinting at the smile I crave, and the guarded look in his eyes softens the smallest bit—I savor the gift that it is. I glance at Rhosse and Darvy, getting farther ahead as they begin jogging again. All the words I want to say urge me to spit them out. I told myself I’d tell him everything, and right now I feel ready. He has to know I don’t fear him—the opposite, actually.
I take a breath and open my mouth, but Ikar’s attention is now trained ahead, his focus back on the danger that could be behind and around us.
He watches their disappearing forms ahead of us. “We need to catch up.”
The words clog in my throat.
He begins jogging, motioning for me to follow. I imaginerunning after him and catching his hand and forcing him to listen to me, but I don’t. I don’t think any of us are in any condition to wrangle with gloam monsters tonight if we’ve been tracked. My courage has been squashed for the night, anyway; it drains away like fine sand in a timer.
I sigh and grit my teeth as I begin to run.
Chapter 55
Vera
“You look… tired,” Ikar says carefully, as if he’s afraid he’ll offend me as he looks down at my stained clothing, messy hair, and mangled boot.
