Page 91 of Queen of the Night
He’s wrong. I don’t think it seems too far out of reach. Terror pulses through my veins because it’s toocloseto his reach, and I can feel it growing ever closer.
“Some hearts are too broken to love.” I look down and pull gently at some of the silky fur on my cloak.
“I’ll be patient. I’ll help you put it back together, and it will heal.” His voice is low and husky. He opens the door, waits for me to enter, and closes it without another word.
I find Tatania within, a pile of parchment and charcoal before her on the dressing table, and a plate of food waiting on a tray on my bed. I realize then that I haven’t eaten all day, and I’mstarving.
She turns in her seat to greet me. “Vera, you’re finally back.”
Rupi soars from my shoulder, directly to the plate where she begins to peck at the juicy berries that await. I glance toward Tatania to see her frowning deeply. With my life turned upside down, I’d completely forgotten that Tatania doesn’t like birds… or any animal, for that matter. Suddenly though, I can’t make myself care. I refuse to apologize for my beloved bird, and instead I drop the newly gifted cloak from my shoulders and kick it into the corner before I sit heavily on the bed and begin to pick through the food on the tray with Rupi. The fire crackles and pops as we eat, but it only warms the surface, not my soul in the way it craves.
“How was your time with the king?” Tatania asks, sitting primly in the small chair. Her lips press flat as she observes my fluffy round bird happily sharing my dinner. It feels good to not care.
I don’t even try to hide my sarcasm. “Enlightening.” I take another bite of meat, then scoot back to lean against the wall and pull one of the warm furs from the bed to wrap around me.
Tonight, Renton offered me everything. I saw it, felt it whispering beneath my fingertips for the shortest andlongest of moments. I almost caved to its tantalizing draw. It feels as if I live out the most tragic sort of poem.
I wipe stray strands of hair from my face as I think about Renton’s goal in showing me all of that. Was it simply to sway me in his favor? To show me his power and the likelihood that he’ll win if he attacks? Was it him simply showing off? To have me willingly agree to become his queen? He practically promised to give me the world. Unfortunately, the scale seems to be tipping in his favor, and it seems that he likely can. To make it worse, he seems to be a decent enough person, besides the fact that he’s a gloam monster and his goal is a complete takeover of Moneyre, and Ihatethat.
Tatania nods. “The gloam creaturesareterrifying.”
Rupi reaches for the same berry I do, and I roll it toward her, opting for more of the meat instead. I don’t know how much longer the birdseed in my pocket will last, and I don’t want her to be hungry.
I take another bite and chew before I speak. “You know what’s more terrifying? Renton and his goal to eradicate all lucent and take over the kingdom, killing who-knows-how-many of our people in the process.”
“He won’t kill those who don’t fight him.” Tatania gently disagrees.
Is she defending him or attempting to comfort me?
I look her way with a frown. “But what about all the people whowill?”
I can see Darvy and Rhosse clearly in my mind, leading their soldiers into a battle they can’t win without lucent, and further sorrow squeezes my chest.
She sighs. “Vera, you’ve always had a compassionate heart, but things have to change. People are dying from lack of lucent. What if Rentoncan fix it?”
My frown deepens. “You can’t possibly believe he’s our best option.”
I begin to feel the first flames of anger. For someone who told me to never trust kings and made me try to hate Ikar, something that ended up leading to hisdeath, she’s acting suspiciously supportive of a man who, quite literally, seepsgloamand seeks the throne. For the first time, I begin to wonder whose side she’s on.
“How long have you been here?” I ask carefully. It can’t have been too long, since I just paid her to have my bracelet replaced days before my capture. Is it possible she comes and goes?
Her words are careful. “Not much longer than you.”
That doesn’t mean she’s not a recruit, though. Gretta said Renton has been wandering our land foryears.
“Are you a captive, like me?” I ask bluntly. I’ve never had a reason to doubt Tatania, but seeing her here now, hearing her opinion…
“Renton believes I’m on his side, so I have a bit more freedom than you do. Like I advised, sometimes you must play the game to get what you want.”
“Is it true?” I peer at her.
“Is what true?” She blinks innocently at me.
“Are you on his side?”
She laughs as if my question is ridiculous. “Of course not, it’s all strategy, m’dear. How else are we to escape?” She lifts a chastising brow.
Her words and tone are intended to reassure me, but I’ve never feltlessassured in my life. I get the sense she actually believes his intentions are good, and that puts me on edge. Evenpretendingto be on his side chafes uncomfortably. Regardless of the power he has, I won’t betray my people. I can’t. I won’t beconvinced, even by Tatania. I don’t know what Renton will do when I refuse to be his queen, but the offer he presents as a gift comes with a price I’m not willing to pay. Hispresentationdoes get me thinking, though. I realize now how important the Black Tulips are to maintaining lucent magic. We’ve been selfish and living in fear, like a large ostrich sticking its head in the sand, ignoring the consequences of our cowardice. Anger and outrage at the treatment of our sisters who were murdered all those years ago yearns to stay rooted in my heart, but I know it’s time to start letting it go. Ikar didn’t murder them. No one who still lives in Moneyre murdered them. I think of all the hunters I’ve worked with, my friends among the fae, Mr. Eddieren, Maurine from the bakery… countless people who don’t deserve what Renton has in store.
