Page 111 of Mine Forever
I cross my arms over my chest and lift a brow. “Go on.”
His gaze wanders down my body, all the way to my toes, before snapping back to my stare. “God, you’re just so…stunning. I can’t think.”
He runs a hand through his hair, and I have to steel myself against any more compliments until he says his piece.
“I was scared. Plain and simple. Relationships with people I love have never gone well. And whenever I fall for someone, or even get the notion that I’m falling for someone, I hear my father’s voice in my head telling me I’m going to hurt them just like I did my mother. It’s why I didn’t fight for you, for us, all those years ago. I thought that since I’d eventually hurt you somehow anyway, I was going to let you go before that happened.”
He blows out a breath and looks out over my head. “And with everything that happened with Heather…it just reinforced what I’d been told since I was fourteen years old.” His gaze comes back to me. “That I was a selfish bastard that didn’t deserve to be loved.”
My heart breaks for the young boy who not only lost his mother he’d adored, but then was blamed for her death by his father.
The one person left that should have protected him.
I want to reach out and hug him and the man he’s become. The good man he can’t see he is.
My fingers tighten around my biceps to keep from throwing myself at him. Because I need more. But I also want to offer some comfort.
“Chase, you didn’t kill your mother. Or Heather.”
He nods and looks down. “I know. But I’ve lived with his voice in my head for so long, it’s almost comforting in a weird-ass way.”
His head lifts and he looks me in the eye. “But then you came to the island, and you knocked me to my knees. You were in that red skirt and heels, and I wanted you so badly, but at the same time, you reminded me of New York and all the reasons I’d left the city behind.”
I tilt my head, and my brow furrows. “And yet, here you are. Why? What changed with the whole media thing?”
“I’m here for you. Because of you, Eden. I’m fighting for you this time. I’m fighting for us. I don’t want the media to run my life anymore when they don’t give a shit about me anyway. I don’t want to live in that house all by myself anymore. And I don’t want to go another day without waking up with you next to me.”
My heart thunders in my chest. After being with Chase again, this time around isn’t so easy to get over him.
For him to be here, saying these things…it’s really all I’ve ever wanted when it comes to love.
He moves closer, and for the life of me, I can’t move. I’m mesmerized by that deep baritone of his voice.
“I love you, Eden. I’m willing to do whatever I need to do to show you that. In fact,”—his lips curve in a smile—“I started going to therapy.”
My eyes widen. “You did?”
“And I got a cat. Well, a kitten really.”
“You have a cat?”
He nods once. “I do. And her name is Freyja.”
“Why Freyja?”
He grins. “I wanted something strong and all I could thinkabout was you. But I didn’t want to name her Eden. Then I got to thinking about when we met in literature class and we were learning mythology. And when we learned about Freyja, all I could think about is you.”
My heart skips a beat. “You never told me that.”
“She was the Norse goddess of love, sex, beauty, fertility, magic. All the things you are, Eden.”
Holy shit. I’m so stunned, I can’t even speak.
He takes advantage of my speechlessness and continues. “Listen, I’m not fixed or totally healed. But I’m working on it. Because I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want to be with you. You make me want to be a better man, Eden. The kind of man you deserve, though I’m not sure any man is good enough to deserve you. But I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to be. If you’ll let me.”
Tears blur my vision, and I focus on the red tie. I run a hand down it, the warmth of his skin radiating through it, his heart beating fast underneath it.
“I’m scared too, Chase. I can’t be hurt by you again. I won’t survive it.” I look up at him and find his stare full of love and hope. “How do I know you won’t hurt me again?”
