Page 48 of Mine Forever
He meets my eyes again. “But I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too. So, how are you, really? I’m so sorry about Heather.”
He frowns and takes a long sip of his bourbon. “I’m hanging in there. Truth?”
I nod.
“Heather and I weren’t in a good place. And I’m feeling a lot of guilt about that now. With her gone.”
“Survivor’s guilt?”
“Yeah. I guess so.” He leans back with a sigh, stretching his arm across the back of the couch.
I’m sitting on the other end, but his hand is achingly close to me now.
“They tell me I have to meet with the team psychologist weekly as part of my rehab.” He scoffs, sipping his drink. “They don’t realize the best therapy for me is to just get better and back on the field.”
Hearing him say this produces a mix of emotions. On one hand, I’m hurt and angry because I know firsthand how true that statement is for him.
Hell, his decision to leave me had been to play the game.
On the other hand, I hate to see the war of emotions playout on his handsome face. If there was anything I could do to take it all away for him, I would.
But that would require a time machine and different choices.
Essentially, a whole other life.
So I do the only thing I think I can do.
I listen.
And the more wine and bourbon we consume, the more talkative we become.
And the more we stroll down memory lane.
And the closer we get on the couch until we’re so close I can feel the heat of his body.
“So, what about you, Eden?” Chase asks, topping off our drinks again.
I’ve lost count of how many times he’s done that, but I don’t really care at this point.
All I care about is the fact that I’m sitting here with Chase, and we’re laughing and it’s like old times.
“What about me?”
“How’s life? Seeing anyone?”
“Life is good. My company is growing. It’s a lot of work, but I love it. Which means no, I’m not seeing anyone. I’m way too busy for any of that right now.”
His fingers toy with the ends of my hair. “Do you ever wonder where we’d be if we were still together?”
Against my better judgment, I lean into his hand and it caresses my face, my gaze meeting his. “Yeah. I do.”
“Me too. If I’m honest, I think about you way more than I should.” He shifts closer to me, his knuckles brushing across my cheekbone. “I’ve missed you, Sunshine. So much. And that’s not just the bourbon talking.”
I close my eyes and inhale sharply, my emotions running riot inside me.
Desire, longing, shame, guilt.
