Page 149 of Unexpected Forever
“And the more time I spent with you, the more I wanted to be a better man. When you told me you were pregnant, I was shocked, no doubt. But I’ve loved that baby since I knew it existed.”
“Nate…” Her whisper is soft in the air, but I hold up a hand.
“Wait, let me get this out. Please.”
She nods and I let out a deep breath, settling my nerves. Nerves that are far worse than my first at bat in the majors.
“Baseball has been my first love nearly my whole life, but over the last few weeks I’ve learned that while the game saved me when I needed saving, it’s a fickle mistress who wants all my time and energy.”
I meet her eyes. “I told you before, it’s a part of me, but it’s just a part. It’s not the whole me. And I no longer need it.”
“What changed?”
“I lived life without you. And it was fucking miserable.” I glance out into the surrounding darkness that reminds me how my soul felt the last few weeks. “I drank too much and began to see my father every time I looked in the mirror. I didn’t want to turn into him and subject my child to that.”
I smile, bringing my gaze back to her. “Then, some wise people I know came to visit and essentially told me to get my head out of my ass before I lost the best thing that ever happened to me.” I blow out a breath, my stomach quivering. “I also visited my parents’ graves for the first time.”
Her eyes shine with unshed tears, but she tilts her head, doubt shadowing her eyes. Doubt I put there with my dumbass actions. “But you still signed the contract and didn’t even tell me.”
I blow out a breath, shame coursing through me. “I know. I’m so sorry. I should have talked to you. All I can tell you is I was scared.”
“Scared? Of what?”
“What being part of a relationship felt like. But most of all, I was scared of how much I love you.”
Her chin lifts. “Me or the baby?”
I take a step toward her, my heart leaping with hope when she doesn’t take a step away.
“Both of you. But right now, this is just about you and me, Firefly.”
She inhales sharply at the nickname I gave her and looks away. “How do I know you won’t shut me out again the next time you get scared? Things are about to get real terrifying, Nate.”
She isn’t going to make this easy for me and I expect no less.
That’s my girl.
“I know. And I know my recent actions haven’t done anything to make you trust me, but I swear to you, I’m all in, Charley. Terrified or not, I’m all in.”
She bites her lip as a tear slips down her cheek. I move in closer because I’m desperate to be near her.
“An apology seems so inconsequential for how much I hurt you. But all I can do is show you how much I love you every day for the rest of my life, and I’ll never leave you again. If you’ll let me.”
I close the distance between us and cradle her face in my hands. “My whole life, all I’ve done is survive. Going through the motions. The money, baseball, the career, it means nothing without you.”
Her eyes search mine. “But how are we going to make it work? You’ll be traveling all the time.”
“My manager’s contract is null and void.”
Her jaw drops. “What? Nate, no. I know you’re not ready to leave baseball behind. I saw it in your eyes at the ceremony.”
“I said my manager’s contract is voided. But I have a new contract. I’m going to be working in the front office for the Bull Sharks starting in the spring. And my home office base is here in Madison Ridge.”
“Here? In Madison Ridge?” The end of her sentence ends on a high pitch.
“I told them the only way I’d take the job is if I could do something where I could do most of my work here. We have a family to raise, and I’m not doing it from the road. I will have to go to Florida occasionally, but maybe you and Nugget could come with me.”
“Nate, I won’t—”
