Page 131 of Unexpected Forever
His gaze flicks back to mine, full of shadows.
I want to be angry with him, hate him.
But I can’t. I can’t unlove him.
I walk over to stand in front of him, so close I feel the heat from his bare chest.
“Then I found out I was pregnant, and the more time I spent with you, the more I fell in love with you. Withyou,the man. Not the baseball legend or my friend’s brother or my baby’s daddy. You.”
I inhale deep and blow it out slowly. “I don’t think you’re fucked-up or broken. But you do. And I can’t fix it for you.” I raise a hand and cup his cheek. He closes his eyes and leans into it.
My chest and eyes burn, yet at the same time I feel like I’m drowning in sorrow and all the what-ifs.
I drop my hand and take a huge step away from him. “Go back home to Florida, Nate. I’m happy for you. I would never get between you and your dream so you could resent me later. Do what you need to do.” I cover my bump with my hands, and I don’t miss his eyes following my movements. “Nugget and I will be okay.”
He swallows hard. “Hold on. I plan to be here until the baby is born. I’m going to be a part of my child’s life.”
I nod. “I’m not going to shut you out. I would never do that to you or our child. But I think it’s best if we don’t live together anymore.”
“But your place—”
“Has been ready for months.”
He snaps his mouth closed and looks down at the floor.
“I’ll let you know when it’s time. We can work out some sort of custody arrangement after the birth.”
My mouth is like sawdust saying those words, but what choice do I have?
“What the fuck? A custody arrangement?”
I move around him, unable to look him in the eye, and head to get my suitcase from the closet. I open it on the bed and start throwing things into it from the dresser drawers.
“We’ll need to have some arrangement if I’m here and you’re in Florida. But don’t worry, I’m not asking for support.”
Nate steps in front of me, taking my hands in his. “Charley, stop.”
I pull away. “It’s best this way. You can do what you need to do and so can I.”
He runs a hand through his hair and curses under his breath. “Please don’t go. The nursery is here.” He flings an arm out toward the door. “I’ll stay in a hotel or the inn or my truck. Just don’t leave.”
I look down at the mess I’ve made in the suitcase. “I’m not staying in this huge house alone. I love it, but it’s too much. And it holds too many memories.”
There’s no way I’d be able to look around and not remember all the places and ways he loved me. It would only break my heart a little more each day. “So, I’m going to go.”
He closes the space between us and cups my face, lowering his forehead to mine. “No. Charley, please.” His voice cracks.
A tear rolls down my face. “Let me go,” I whisper.
Neither of us moves, but he’s so close to me that like always, I can barely breathe. If I do, his cologne will wrap itself around me and I’ll give in to him.
And I can’t do that.
“There’s more to this than just what we want. I have to think about what’s going to be best for the baby. And for me, so I can be the best mother I can be for him or her.”
I lean back and look up at him. Another tear escapes and rolls down my cheek. I swipe it away. “And right now? I need to get my life back together before I have this baby. It’s been great here. Like a dream. But now I have to get back to reality.”
We stare at each other for long moments. His hazel eyes are nearly green, and I just want to wrap myself around his big, strong body. Where I always feel safe.
