Page 125 of Unexpected Forever
Without another word, he takes the stairs two at a time, leaving me alone.
With a sigh and an ache in my heart, I walk the opposite direction into the kitchen to check out the setup.
Everyone should be arriving any minute, so I finish up the last-minute details, like lighting the candles and opening the wine to breathe.
The water runs upstairs, and it makes me wish I was in the shower with Nate.
I miss his touch. And not just in a sexual way.
I miss him holding my hand while we watch TV. Or the way he draws circles on my skin when we cuddle.
Kissing my belly good morning.
Add to the fact that in the time since our return, Nate’s gone back to Florida twice for a few days and then once to Texas for the last game of the World Series, where the Bull Sharks won.
He came home keyed up and gave me three orgasms.
But it had been the least connected sex we’d ever had.
That was two weeks ago.
When he’s gone, he calls or texts multiple times a day, checking in on me and Nugget, but even those conversations seem less personal than before.
I throw myself into work at Gold Mountain, trying to wind down my schedule and get it squared away before maternity leave kicks in.
Work and thinking about all the things the baby needs have helped me from reflecting too much on the fact Nate has pulled away from me.
I’d never been more connected to a human than I had been with Nate that night at his beach house. Neither of us said those three little words out loud, but it had been in every move we’d made.
At least, I thought it had.
Now I’m just confused and scared.
Confused because I love him and I know he has feelings for me. But are they for me or because I’m carrying his baby?
Scared because a man who has become so important to me is going to leave me.
Just like they always do.
I feel foolish. I knew this is how it would go. I let his kisses—the sexyandthe sweet ones—his kindness, and justhimget to me. Lowered my guard. I let time lull me into thinking I had plenty of it.
But as my due date gets closer, so does the expiration date on our relationship.
I feel it in my bones.
I know he’s made a choice. He hasn’t told me verbally, but his actions say it loud and clear.
He’s chosen baseball.
Just like I knew he would. It’s what he knows and who he is.
I knew it was in the cards since I met him. He’s told me he’s all in, but that doesn’t mean for us. It means for the baby.
He’ll be around for our child. But not for me as a woman.
How we’ll coparent with him living seven hours away half the year and on the road the other half is something I don’t have answers to yet.
I blow out a breath. Only time will bring those answers, so for today, I’m going to enjoy the company of my guests.
