Page 38 of Diesel
I don’t take her into the city, or the clubhouse. I head to our apartment, an hour outside of Birmingham. Close enough I could reach her, but far enough I didn’t risk running into her when I was with my club brothers.
As I park up outside there’s an uneasy swirl working through me. This place used to feel like coming home. Now it’s a noose around my neck. I don’t want to leave her here, but I have to. I can’t take her to the meet with Nic, not when I’m not sure if I’m walking out of it.
Riot came in hostile, though he didn’t put a bullet in me. I don’t know what that means, or if it means anything, but I’m not risking her safety.
I glance over at the passenger seat. Makenna is asleep, her mouth parted slightly, soft breaths whispering between her lips. There are dark smudges under her eyes that have my teeth grinding together. I did that.
I stopped her sleeping.
I get out of the car, a sharp ache behind my ribs. It burns me that I fucked this up so badly, but I can’t focus on that. Not now. Getting us through this, fixing what’s broken in the club, and hoping like hell that she’ll still be at my side when I do is all I can think about.
I scan for danger before I open her door.
Then I drop down into a crouch and brush my fingers over her cheek. “Firefly?”
She twitches and then peels her eyes open. For a moment she seems disorientated until she locks on me, and then her body softens, like she’s found safety.
That cracks my chest open.
How can I be her safe space when all I bring is danger to her door?
“Shit.” She stretches, yawning, her eyes foggy. “Did I sleep the whole way?”
Despite the anxiety gnawing at my gut my lips twitch into a hint of a smile. “You’re terrible company.”
She glares, poking my side like I’m a Labrador and not a bulldog with teeth. “Rude.”
“But right.” I grab her hand before she can do it again and press my lips over her knuckles. “You feel better?”
“I feel like I just transcended time and space and woke up in another dimension.” Her jaw unhinges again as she yawns loudly. “Sorry.”
“Don’t apologise.”
I reach across and unbuckle her seatbelt, my arm brushing over her belly. She shivers a little, her breath catching. The body doesn’t lie, even if words can. She still wants me and that’s everything.
I ease her out the car, and keep her tucked against my side, using my body to protect as much of her as I can until we’re safely inside the building. I don’t breathe easily until I’m unlocking the apartment door.
And even then I make her wait just inside the hallway while I check every inch of the home we built together for any threats.
It smells of her. Everywhere I look are her touches, herfingerprints. There’s so little of me within these walls and it feels stark now. Obvious. Looking around, I wouldn’t think she was married. That she’s living with me.
Yeah, that’s going to change.
Once I’m sure it’s safe, I gesture for her to come inside fully. She drags herself into the living room and collapses onto the couch as if her body is boneless.
“You okay?”
“Yeah.” It’s a lie, but neither of us push it. We’re still in a fragile place.
I watch her for second before my phone pings. It’s from Nic. He’s leaving for our meet up. Fuck. I message back that I’m on the way.
Every part of me wants to stay with Makenna, but I can’t. Nicky… I need him to trust me. I need him to hold the others at bay if they don’t think I’m on their side.
I crouch in front of her, cupping her knee, like this might be the last time I touch her. “I need to head out. I know that’s fucking shit of me, but to fix all of this, I have to speak to my brothers and figure a way forward.”
Her hand slips over mine, squeezing. “Are they going to hurt you?” The smallness of her voice cuts through me like a knife.
“No.”
