Page 55 of His to Have
Her words were cut short when I slipped my arm under her knees and another around her back, lifting her effortlessly from the chair, then snapped her laptop shut. She let out a surprised yelp.
“Teo! What are you doing?”
I smirked, tossing her over my shoulder and carrying her toward the hallway. “What does it look like?”
"But I wasn’t done!” She squirmed lightly, but her protests were half-hearted at best.
“Indulge me? Just this once.”
Softly she exhaled, giving up her fight, as she dangled over my shoulder resting her head against my back. One hand rested on her ass securing her as I carried her down the hallway.
“You’re still annoying, you know that?”
“And yet, you still love me,” I teased as we neared the part of the home that housed both of our bedrooms.
Her lips parted like she wanted to argue. Like she could refute my claim, but no words came out. Which I was glad, because her silence gave me time to say what I wanted.
“Stay with me tonight.” I suggested, hoping like hell she would agree. It had been a long taxing day for me mentally, and I just wanted her in my space.
“Teo,” she whispered, but I stopped her before she could shoot the idea down completely.
“I’m not asking for anything but your company.”
I wasn’t used to asking for anything, let alone someone’s presence. But with her, it felt right. Never in my life have I needed to ask a woman to share my bed. Most begged to be in that spot. But with Yanna, it was different. It always had been. I respected her in a way that I may not have necessarily shown others.
Her soft nod was all the answer I needed before she murmured a quiet, “Yes.”
Heading to my bedroom, I kicked the door open gently. Stepping inside I set her down on the edge of my bed.
“I’m a hop in the shower. Get some rest.” I leaned in, brushing a kiss on her forehead.
“Hold up…” she whispered, grabbing my wrist preventing me from walking off. Her eyes darted away as if she suddenly felt shy or embarrassed about whatever she was about to say next. “What if... what if I want to be more than just company? What if I want—” she swallowed hard.
I froze, her words catching me off guard. We hadn’t been intimate in a long ass time, and even then it was only once. But somehow, I knew that was what she wanted. My eyes went to search hers, but she wouldn’t meet my gaze. Instead, she focused on the space between her fingers still wrapped around my wrist and the edge of the bed.
“What if you want what, Amore?” I asked softly, crouching slightly to get on her level. My free hand reached up, gently lifting her chin so she had no choice but to look at me. “Tell me what you want. And I will give it to you.”
She cleared her throat and removed her hand. “What if I want to be with you likethatagain?”
“Sex? You wanna have sex?”
Her lips pressed together, before she shook her head in affirmative.
“And what brought this on? Not that I’m complaining. But I need you to be sure, because once I drop this dick in you Amore. It’s really no going back.”
She took a deep breath, her chest rising and falling as she gathered her thoughts. “I’ve been going back and forth about how I reacted when my parents first told me about the arrangement, for the past couple of weeks. How I was so mad that day.” Her eyes met mine. “Then... it just faded. Poof.” Her hand gestured in the air, mimicking an explosion. “I realized that maybe it wasn’t about the arrangement itself but about how no one felt the need to tell me what was going on. You do realize that you could have told me? Back then?”
I watched while she picked at the bed of her nails, a nervous habit. But when she finally looked at me, I truly felt like I had let her down. Her once bright eyes were full of vulnerability. While her mouth and body said that she had forgiven me, her eyes told a different story. And the realization cut deep.
“You weren’t ready to accept it back then. Look how you bolted from my bed the day after. Then put distance between us. Acted like it never happened.” I told her tenderly, but full of regret.
“And you let me.” Her words hit me hard, and I nodded, acknowledging the truth in her statement.
“I did. Because that’s what you needed, Amore mio. Trust me, that was the hardest shit I’ve ever done.”
Quiet as its kept, that shit fucked me up — letting her create distance knowing she needed space to become the woman she is today. The days, months, and year afterward wasn’t my finest moments. I was running through women left and right and keeping Yanna at arm’s length. I kept just enough tabs on her to make sure she was safe but gave her space to live. We spoke when it was needed, and she knew she could call me for anything, but I held back, respecting her need for independence.
Her gaze softened, like she understood, but I still wanted to reassure her. “I never stopped caring or protecting. Just know that.”
