Page 67 of The Broken Queen
He pressed his fingers into the wood floorboard until oneof them pulled up, and inside was a lock box. “This is an exact replica of the gun you started carrying around at the ripe age of fucking eight years old. There’s one of these in every room, so you always feel safe,” Kingston snapped before revealing the back of the board. It was a picture…a familiar picture burned into the wood.
“The photo you made when we were kids, the one of the farm…I had it turned into a stencil. For every room in this house, there’s one of these under the boards if not more.”
He dropped it back in place and then stood, searching the room with a frantic expression. “I made sure your bed would have slide out drawers so we could keep wedge pillows underneath it. There’s practically an entire sex store under there if you look. I made sure you’d have everything to make you comfortable for when the three of us?—”
He trailed off, and it made my temper flare.
“See, that’s just it, Kingston. You lied about who finished this house for me. You didn’t put a single plant anywhere in sight, as if you were trying to erase yourself from this house…from me. You made an entire floor for Gio and stargazing and not a single greenhouse on the property for you. There’s no garden anywhere. How was I supposed to know you’d done anything considerate where the three of us might be concerned?”
He rolled his eyes and walked to the side of the room. “Well, if you’d drop that wall around your heart, then maybe you’d learn.”
I was starting to feel that familiar rage when he’d piss me off, and to get his attention, I’d say something shitty just to get him to lose control and fuck me. But I was tired of our toxic circle. My heart hurt, and while I previously settled for his touch, now I needed his love. Unfortunately, I was well aware of how that would go.
“Drop it so you can get away with what you did and not have to apologize?”
He blew out a heavy breath while looking down at the floor. “I figured the house would have been apology enough.”
My hands came up, roughly tugging at my hair as I stepped back. “Again, you didn’t take credit for it, King. You didn’t walk me through the house and show me all the tiny things you did. I didn’t know about the stencils, lock boxes, or anything else. You keep pushing me away.”
“Because you pushmeaway,” he yelled. “Every time I think you want to get close, you do something that shows you’re only doing it out of spite or to use me for something physical. I know you’re punishing me, but how fucking long do you plan on doing it?”
His words stung so badly; I felt numb everywhere.
My voice rose but cracked, “You pushed me into Gio’s arms. You told me that I looked like I belonged to Gio, not you. You were cruel to me, and when I did arrive, you didn’t even want to stay. You still don’t. You keep going to the barn or sleeping apart from me, and it hurts. It all feels like rejection. Like I’m still in that room watching you pull up your jeans after you just had your cock inside me, taking my virginity only to completely ruin me moments later.”
A sob had worked its way into my speech, which made me embarrassed. Especially when he just stood there staring at me like I was pathetic.
“So, what is it that you want me to do, Presley? Want me to move in, fuck you every night, sleep with you but not expect you to like me, or want to be my friend? You going to shove your relationship with Gio in my face again? Make me hear you have sex first thing in the morning when I wake up or walk down into the kitchen and see you spread out like a fucking buffet, but only for my brother to enjoy?” he yelled, but a sob caught his words too.
“I want you to care! I want you to apologize and to move in, and to give me space to work out my hurt. If that means no more sex, then fine. We won’t touch anymore.”
He stepped closer, and I saw the way his eyes watered as he traced the space near my ear. “Touching you is all I have, it may hurt, but fuck, don’t take that from me.”
His eyes shuddered, and then a lone tear slipped down his face, which had my stomach clenching. I wanted to say something, but hestepped even closer and whispered, “All I do is care. I care so much, I can’t sleep. I can’t think. I am eternally frozen in this place where I broke you. It was the worst thing I could have ever done, and I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I know I can’t fix it. I can’t go back…I know you relive that moment each time we touch you. But you have to know how badly I?—”
His mouth snapped shut, leaving me reeling for what he was going to say. Instead, he took a step back and ran his hand over his face.
“I need to know what you want from me.”
My shoulders lifted slightly as my own tears finally fell. “I don’t know how to communicate that. I don’t want you to leave me, but I’m also not ready to trust you. I don’t want to have to tell you to fix what’s broken. I just want you to find the pieces and put them back together.”
A fluttery panic swept through my voice as I confessed my insecurities to him. I hated how vulnerable I was being with him again, even after all that he’d done to me. Instead of anger or cruelty, he slowly nodded as if he finally understood.
“Then I ask that you stop hiding all of it. Let us see where you’re hurting, and all the shattering you’ve done since we broke you. Don’t keep it bottled up. We can’t help unless we know how to. Stop trying to hurt us by using us the way you are. We care about you, Presley. We’re still fucking in love with you. The way you just want to fuck us and forget us or pit us against one another is shitty and you know it.”
With one last solemn glance, he turned around and walked out of my room.
I didn’t lock my door, but I did shut it, and then I curled up in a ball on my bed and I cried. He was right. I needed to stop self-sabotaging and start healing.
It was a terrifying idea because it meant I had to trust them again in order to do it.
Was that even possible? The truth scared me more than I wanted to admit.
Chapter 24
Presley
It was early when I snuck out of bed.
