Page 96 of Meant to Be
His chest ached at the thought of Brian.
“You should take a weekend away. New York is nice this time of year. You can even stay in Drake’s penthouse, but if you do reconcile with Sydney, stay in the guest room. I don’t want to imagine my brother doing the deed in my bed.”
“Get out.” He said it with annoyed but brotherly affection.
“I’m serious. Go. If you do, I’ll forgive you for interrogating my husband about Jenny’s attack, because I’ll be able to see it was done out of genuine love for Sydney.”
“I was wondering when you were going to hassle me on that.”
She grinned. “Go to New York and I won’t.”
As soon as he shut the door behind Lexie, Mitch raided his booze cabinet. He poured himself several fingers of whisky. Deciding it wouldn’t be enough, he brought the bottle with him to the living room. He brooded for a moment then went to the hall closet, pulling out a box of his keepsakes and bringing it back to the living room. After downing his whisky, and pouring more, he opened the box.
He took out the pictures of Brian and him. They’d been inseparable since the first day of kindergarten, where they’d played pirates with sticks until the teachers put them in time out. He looked at pictures of them trick-or-treating, Mitch as Superman and Brian as Batman. They’d played sports and one of the two of them was always the best on the team. Mitch had been the quarterback, while Brian was a receiver. Brian was the pitcher on the baseball team, while Mitch played first base. They hunted and fished. They double dated. Mitch winced at the prom pictures, both of them sporting what they thought looked like a full mustache, but now, looked more like a shadow.
God, he’d loved and admired Brian. It was his fault he was dead. Of course, he needed to pay penance. Brian would never love. Would never have a family.
But Mitch was self-aware enough to know his reluctance to love wasn’t part of his penance. His desire to avoid love was to prevent heart-wrenching pain and loss. He rubbed a hand on his chest, as if it would soothe the pain. If Lexie was right, and he’d raged at Sydney for the wrong reason, he’d feel guilt, but he wasn’t convinced that the resulting end of their relationship wasn’t a good thing. The longer the relationship grew, the more difficult it would be when it ended.
He looked at a picture of him and Brian in their military fatigues, taken a few months after they’d arrived in Iraq. Brian had been trying to cheer him up because Mitch hadn’t gotten over Sydney.
“You need to go to her when you get home and get her back in your life.”
“She doesn’t want me. She’s ignored all my attempts to get in touch with her.”
“Doesn’t matter. You need to try. You’re a better man with her in your life.”
“You’re delusional.”
Brian patted him on the back. “Let’s face it, bro. You’re never gonna be happy until she’s in your life again. And I bet it’s the same for her.”
“You sure know a lot about love for someone who hasn’t had a steady girlfriend since our sophomore year in high school.”
Brian grinned. “I’m looking and when I find her, you can bet I’ll do whatever I can to keep her. You’ve already found her.”
Mitch hadn’t sought out Sydney after he was discharged, hadn’t tried to fix things with her. He’d made a life without her and was doing fine.
“Liar,” he swore he could hear Brian’s voice say. It happened sometimes, especially when Mitch was at his lowest.
So, maybe his life wasn’t perfect, but he had a good job and family. He had enjoyable sex with women who, like him, just wanted a good time. There was nothing wrong with that. Except, it was never as satisfying as what he’d had with Sydney, physically or emotionally.
But to take that chance? He’d been willing to start a relationship with her hours ago, so why not now? If Lexie was right and Sydney had only just gotten the letters, then nothing had changed. Except for the fact that he’d raged at her, pissed her off, and made her leave town.
At the very least, he needed to find out the truth and apologize to her. He pulled out his phone, uncertain what he’d say, but dialed her number anyway. She didn’t pick up and he had a profound sense ofdéjà vu. Ten years ago he’d tried to call and apologize, but she hadn’t answered then either. The difference was he’d waited more than a week to call her the first time, which had given her… no, her mother… time to intervene and prevent his calls and messages from getting through. So, was she purposefully not answering now? Or worse, what if her attacker had gotten to her?
Panic shivered along Mitch’s spine. Her voice mail answered. “Syd, it’s Mitch. Look, I know you probably don’t want to talk to me, but not answering only makes me worried. Call or if you don’t want to hear my voice, text me to let me know you’re alright.” He clicked off and swore. Now that she was out of reach and out of touch, the loss weighed heavy on his soul. He’d had her right here, in his home, in his arms, and he’d pushed her away. He was the biggest idiot on earth.
While he waited for her to respond, he distracted himself by checking in with Kevin. Jenny was doing well and would be going home in a few days.
“We’re talking about starting a family.”
“Really?” A mixture of jealousy and sorrow filled Mitch. He could have had that. Until he heard Kevin mention it, Mitch didn’t know he wanted it.
“We were planning to wait. Jen wanted to finish school, but now she doesn’t want to put it off. She doesn’t want to put anything off, which means school and a baby.Andwe’re also going to be buying a bigger house.”
Mitch heard nerves in Kevin’s voice, but also love. “That’s great, man. If it’s a boy, you’ll name him Mitch, right?”
“You’ll have to take that up with Jen.”
