Page 81 of This Heart
“That was a no-brainer. She’s mine. And I told Hope that. I was there the day she was born. I held her and instantly fell in love with her, and I planned on raising her regardless of whether we shared the same DNA or not.”
Aurora sniffled. “Liam, I don’t know what to say. This is a lot of information to take in and process.”
I smiled and took her hand in mine. “There’s more. I need to get it all out.”
She nodded. “O…okay.”
Taking a deep breath, I slowly exhaled. “I started to develop strong feelings for you after the cancer diagnosis. I tried like hell to ignore it. I told myself a million different things to talk myself out of what I was feeling. Hope eventually confronted me, and I told her she was wrong, but she didn’t believe me. That was when she started to push you away.”
Her eyes went wide. “That’s why? I thought she was upset with me for spending time with Winnie.”
“She was upset about that as well. I mean, the cancer was really messing with her at that point, and she was angry all the time about everything. She tried to hide it around friends, but it’s why she pushed nearly everyone away.”
Aurora shook her head in confusion. “Why didn’t you say anything to me?”
“Because if it hadn’t been for your friendship, Aurora, I’m not sure I would have made it. Hope started to get mean and would accuse me of sleeping with you and other women constantly. I couldn’t blame her; I had asked her for a divorce twice. I told her she was wrong, but she wouldn’t believe me. Things just got worse as we grew closer to the end.”
Aurora blinked a few times. “Is that why you stopped going with me to take Winnie places?”
“Part of the reason, yes.”
“Part of the reason?”
“I was scared and filled with guilt about my growing feelings toward you. And when Hope died, I was overcome with grief because I was relieved. As terrible as that makes me sound, I was relieved. You kept coming around, and I wanted you desperately.”
“Which added to your guilt.”
I nodded. “I felt like I had betrayed her, cheated on her, and that’s why I pushed you away by accusing you of trying to take Hope’s place. I didn’t know any other way of getting some distance between us. I was deeply confused when Hope passed away. She made me promise things and I kept those promises because I thought I owed it to her. Now I see I was so wrong for doing that. I’m so sorry that I caused you pain because I couldn’t be honest with myself or with you.”
Aurora stood, took a few steps away, and slowly turned back to me. “I’m as much to blame, Liam. I think I started to develop feelings for you as well but never wanted to admit it. Then, when we started to become friends again, those feelings grew, and I denied them so much that I was shocked when Harper, Brystol, and Cadie confronted me about them. Well, maybe I was more shocked I hadn’t hidden my feelings very well.”
I smiled.
“I didn’t think you could love me, and I felt foolish for evening daring to dream you might.”
I quickly stood. “You’re not a fool, Aurora. I was scared and confused, and still feeling guilty about Hope. I felt like I needed to do what she asked because what kind of asshole falls for another woman while his wife is dying of cancer?”
Her mouth opened, then quickly shut.
“I know I’m dropping a lot on you, and I’m not asking you for anything. I just thought you deserved the truth.”
She turned away from me and wrapped her arms around her waist. When she didn’t say anything, I went to sit down, but she turned, and I quickly stood back up.
“What do we do from here?”
My heart started to pound in my chest. Was she going to give us a chance? Please, God, let her say she’s going to give us a chance. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could keep myself from touching her.
“My friendship with you means the world to me, Aurora, and I don’t want to lose it, even though I’ve screwed up a few times already. However, I don’t want to deny these feelings any longer. It’s not fair to you or to me.”
She swallowed hard. “I don’t want to lose your friendship, but I also don’t want to ignore this thing we have between us any longer.”
“I want to give this a chance. This connection between us is not going away, Aurora. Not for me at least.”
She chewed on her lower lip before releasing it. “I think we should go slow.”
“We can go as slow as you want.”
“I do want that.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “I mean, I want…I…want. It’s just…”
