Page 58 of Girl, We Go Together
That word right there was the magic word. I froze. Cayla had never played those police games before. She had to be bluffing, right? But she meant it. I could see it in her eyes. That wild, desperate look said she had nothing left to lose. And I knew what it meant if she made that call. Once 12 got involved, it was over. My grip on her and on this little family I had built was now gone. The streets would always have eyes on me. I couldn’t afford cops sniffing around my business and my home. I backed up. My mind was racing, and my feet were pacing. The keys clinked in my pocket. At least that was mine. That was something. As she stared at me, I couldn’t shake her threat to call the police on me.
“You really going to do me like that?” I muttered while shaking my head. “After everything? You gon’ threaten me with the police?”
Cayla didn’t flinch. She just held Oriana tighter; her body was trembling, but her eyes locked on me. She opened her mouth like she wanted to say something, and when she did, I took a step further. In a swift move, she held her hand out, showing me that she had her phone. She meant business, and now I knew I had to mean it too. I turned and stormed out, slamming the busted door behind me so hard that the frame rattled. I stood outside her building in the cold for a bit. I knew we had fallen off, but to get here, to this point, was mind-blowing to me. Once the police were brought up, the relationship was over in my eyes.
I thought back to the night I killed Fresh. She was there; she had washed his blood off my damn body. A bitch knowing my skeletons like that could never call the cops on me. She knew absolutely too much. I was walking down the concrete outsideof her building. I didn’t know how she was going to take care of herself with no income, but she would have to figure it out. I was done with her ass, for real this time. I called my brother to come and grab my car while I drove her Jeep. Shenell needed something new anyway, so this shiny ass black fully loaded Jeep was hers.
Cayla
Last night I barely slept. After Orion stormed out, I had a locksmith come through to fix the busted door. He worked quietly while I rocked Oriana, my hands trembling every time his drill buzzed against the frame. When he handed me the new keys, I felt a little safer. Not whole. Not healed. Just safer. I even had his ass toss two additional locks up there just in case.
By morning, I was still running on fumes. Oriana fussed for her bottle, and I was in my robe when a knock echoed through the apartment.
My heart stopped because, for a second, I thought it was Orion back, ready to finish what he started. I eased to the door and peeked through the peephole. A man stood there with a clipboard, and another behind him with gloves on.
“Morning,” the first one said when I cracked the door. “We’re from Midtown Moving. We got a delivery for Cayla.”
My stomach flipped.
“Delivery?”
“Yes, ma’am. It says here from an Orion Blackwood.”
Before I could even answer, they started carrying boxes and bags into my apartment, stacking them neatly in the corner of my living room. My clothes. My shoes. Oriana’s baby swing. Herplaypen. All our things were being hauled into the space. I just stood there frozen, watching piece by piece of my life with Orion get placed on my floor like evidence.
It hit me in waves. He wasn’t just mad. He wasn’t bluffing. He was sending me a message in the loudest way possible. We were really done. Although I had initially made the decision to end things with us, I would be a liar if I said this move right here didn’t sting. I held Oriana against me, her tiny breaths warm against my chest as my eyes blurred. I thought about all the nights we laughed on the couch, all the plans we made that never stood a chance. Now it was just me and my baby girl. I felt stupid for feeling so beat up about it because isn’t this what I always wanted? I was finally in a space of freedom, yet I had this nagging feeling in my chest that I had made the wrong decision.
When the men finished, they gave me a polite nod and left. The door clicked shut, and the apartment fell silent again. I leaned against the wall, staring at the pile in the corner. This was it. My new life. My new reality. Orion had just made sure there was no going back. I made the first move, and he countered with a strong ass second, but it was needed. This situation was stamping the finalization on us. The emotion I felt in the moment would pass as soon as I pulled myself out of this darkness.
For three days, I stayed inside. I didn’t even allow an inch of sunlight to enter the apartment. I wanted to sulk in my emotions. Honestly, I thought that in those three days, Orion would reach out and at least act as if he wanted his family back.
By day four, when the silence and hope that Orion would call pressed too heavily on me, I wiped my face, bundled Oriana in her stroller, and headed out. I needed to get out and start to normalize how things would be for us now that I was back on my own. And being on my own was different now because I had a baby along for the ride. I had to have a different mindset, andI had to move differently altogether because I had someone’s childhood and future in my hands.
The air outside felt different, lighter even, as I pushed her down the cracked sidewalks to the grocery store a few blocks away. I wasn’t used to shopping alone like this. Normally, Orion was right there, tossing things in the cart that I didn’t even want. But today, it was just me and my baby girl.
I moved slowly through the aisles, picking up the basics: bread, pasta, chicken, and a little formula. My mind wanted to wander back to what had just happened, but I forced myself to focus on Oriana. On us. She deserved a mama who kept it together. When I got back to the apartment, I put the bags down and looked at the pile of boxes in the corner. Instead of breaking down again, I pulled out my phone. During my three days of solitude, I had been texting Zy, giving her an update on my newly found independence. Each day, she had offered to come over, but I just wanted my space. Now, I needed my girl.
“Zynea, can you come through?” I asked when she picked up. My voice cracked, but I pushed past it. “Please.”
“I’m on my way,” she said without hesitation.
An hour later, a knock at the door had me moving fast. Zynea stood there, arms wide open, before I could even say a word. Behind her were Brandi and Ali, carrying takeout bags and bottles of wine like reinforcements. The smell of food hit me, and suddenly the apartment didn’t feel so empty. They came in loud, filling up the space with laughter and chatter, dragging me back into some normal. Oriana gurgled happily in her swing, soaking up the noise and energy like she knew her mama needed this. For the first time since Orion sent my things here, I let myself breathe.
We sat around the living room, food spread across the table, music low in the background. My girls didn’t push me to talk, at least not right away. They just reminded me I wasn’t alone. Andthat reminder felt like the first brick in rebuilding something new. Zynea was standing in the middle of my living room, telling a wild story about her trip to Atlanta that had Ali doubled over laughing. I laughed too, even though the heaviness in my chest still sat there. For a moment, it felt good to just… be. But every time I looked up, I caught Brandi’s eyes on me. Or maybe not me, perhaps the empty space where Orion should’ve been.
She wasn’t loud like Zynea, not tonight. She wasn’t cracking jokes like Ali. She just sipped her wine slowly, her gaze flickering between me and the boxes in the corner, like she was reading my life laid out right there. Her face didn’t give much away, but I knew Brandi. She was always watching and waiting for her moment. And with Orion gone, with my things boxed up like we were strangers now, I could feel her wheels turning. I shook the thought away, forcing myself to focus back on the girls. Tonight was supposed to be about me keeping it together and about Oriana having a mama who wasn’t falling apart. But somewhere deep down, I couldn’t ignore it. Brandi had noticed his absence. She saw the crack in the door he left behind. And I had a bad feeling that she was thinking about walking right through it.
Chapter 21
Orion
The house felt too damn quiet. I sat on the edge of the couch, staring at the empty corners. The bare spaces where Cayla’s things used to be, her throw blanket, Oriana’s bouncer, and the diaper bag that was always by the door. It was crazy how much emptier the spot felt without a stroller parked in the hallway or bottles drying on the kitchen counter.
I’d told myself this was what I wanted. Freedom. No nagging, no crying baby keeping me up all night. But staring at the hollow spaces she left behind, it didn’t feel like winning. It felt like a loss. A sharp knock broke me out of my head. I didn’t even bother to put the camera back up by the front door. I really hadn’t done much in about a week. Frowning, I pushed up from the couch and went to the door.
When I opened it, Brandi was standing there. I looked down the block both ways because I wondered if Cayla was tucked away in a car nearby. When I looked at Brandi, his girl was wearing tight, ripped jeans, a V-neck shirt, and a leather jacket. Her lip gloss was shining under the porch light. She had that look in her eye, the one that said she wasn’t just passing through.
“Orion,” she said softly, almost like she was checking if I’d send her away.
