Page 54 of Girl, We Go Together
“I’m deadass, Shenell!” he barked, slamming his hand against the wall hard enough to rattle a picture frame. “Get rid of it. I can’t do this with you. Not again.”
My throat closed up, tears spilling before I could stop them. He didn’t even look at me, didn’t care about the storm he’d just unleashed inside me. He just kept pacing, muttering under his breath, like my body, my baby, my life was nothing more than a problem he needed erased. I sat there frozen, heart shattering, and all I could think was: he had no idea what he was asking of me. No idea at all. He thought he could tell me what to do with my body?
A year after OJ was born, I had gotten pregnant again, and he did this exact thing. He pressured me with his words, and then he got what he wanted. I ended up aborting that baby. Not this time.
“Get out,” I said, my voice sharp, cold.
Orion froze mid-pace, turning like he didn’t hear me right.
“What?”
“You heard me.” I stood with my shoulders squared. “Get out of my house, Orion.”
He narrowed his eyes, and that chiseled jaw of his flexed. It always did right before he got physical.
“Shenell, don’t start with me?—”
“No. You don’t start with me.” My voice rose. If he even tried to put his hands on me tonight, I would call the police on his ass.“You come here when you feel like it, play daddy for a couple of hours, climb in my bed when it suits you… And then you think you can tell me to throw away my baby? Nah. Not this time. You don’t get that power, and you never will again.”
He stared at me with his chest heaving and eyes blazing, but I didn’t flinch. Silently, I was daring him to put a fucking hand on me.
“Get out,” I repeated this time with more bass in my voice.
I needed him to know that I was not fucking playing. For a second, I thought he’d fight me on it, but then he snatched his sneakers off the floor while cursing under his breath and stormed toward the door. He slammed it behind him so hard the walls shook. I stood there in the silence while shaking. OJ’s soft snores drifted from the bedroom, reminding me what I already knew… I was strong enough to do this with or without Orion.
I sank back onto the couch, hand sliding to my stomach. This baby was real, and this time around, the choice was mine. Knowing I was strong enough to raise my kids on my own gave me a sense of empowerment that I had never paid attention to before. I wondered if Cayla could be capable of doing the same thing. She had a right to know. She deserved to know who she was lying next to. If Orion thought he could keep me a secret, keep this baby a secret… he had another thing coming. I wiped my eyes, a slow smile creeping across my face despite the ache in my chest. I was gonna tell her. Woman to woman.
And when I did, Orion’s whole little house of lies was gonna come crashing down. I sat on the couch with the phone in my hand, thumb hovering over Cayla’s number. When she and Orion started seriously dating, I demanded to have a conversation with the woman who would be spending time with my son. Instead of scheduling a sit-down between the three of us, Orion had texted me Cayla’s number and left it at that. We had that one conversation, and that was it. Still, years later, Ihad the number saved. My stomach twisted just thinking about Orion’s reaction to my news.
He thought he could come in here, disrespect me, disrespect this baby, and still run back to her like nothing happened? Nah. Not tonight. I hit call. It rang twice before she answered, her voice low, cautious.
“Hello?”
“Cayla, it’s Shenell.”
A pause. I could hear the suspicion in her silence.
“What do you want?” she asked sternly.
I inhaled slowly, steadying myself. “I didn’t call to be messy. I called because you deserve to know. Orion’s been here. With me. And today, I found out I’m pregnant.”
The line went dead quiet. So quiet I thought she’d hung up. Then her breath hitched, shaky, like she was trying not to cry.
“You’re lying.”
“I wish I were,” I said, voice firm. “But I’m not. He was just here. He told me to get rid of it.”
Another long silence. I could practically hear her world tilting. Fuck that, I could hear her world shattering and the pieces rearranging.
“Why are you telling me this?” she whispered.
“Because I know what it feels like to be blindsided by him. And you don’t deserve that. Neither do I. At least now, you know what you’re lying next to.”
I didn’t wait for her response. I ended the call, dropped the phone on the table, and pressed my hand to my stomach. When Orion walked back into that house tonight, he wouldn’t be walking in to the same Cayla. This time, the truth would already be waiting for him.
Cayla
I sat on the edge of the bed in utter shock. The phone slipped out of my hand and landed in my lap. The small device felt heavy like a cinder block. Shenell’s voice still echoed in my ears. Pregnant… and with Orion’s baby. My whole chest felt like it was slowly caving in. For a second, I couldn’t breathe. My heart was racing, and my stomach twisting. And not just because of what she said, but because deep down, something in me believed her.
