Page 63 of If I Gave You My Heart
When I heard Talia snoring lightly beside me, I drifted off to sleep myself.
"I need time to think. I'm not with this crazy shit." His voice played over in my head.
It was now day thirty-six, and Adonis was still taking his time to think. I knew the time he spent away from the house was final when movers came knocking at the door. For the first two weeks, I called his phone nonstop. When I realized that I just wouldn't get an answer, I stopped. I watched as men walked out with boxes from Adonis' closet. I had let myself go something terrible. My natural hair was all over the place, and I was walking around the house in a pair of Adonis' Dragon Ball Z pajama pants and one of his white t-shirts. I didn't even see the outside world in a month. Talia would come over and bring food and flowers or just sit with me.
Since the front door was open for the movers, I stood in the doorway and just looked outside. Memories of the last time I was out there flashed through my head, and I quickly shook that shit off. Without contact, Adonis was showing me how things were, and now it was time for me to take it as it was. He was done here, and I needed to stand up and get my shit together. The night after the big blowout, Joy had called me. She simply asked if I was okay and then asked where Adonis was. Once I told her I didn't know she said okay, ended the line, and then I hadn't heard from her since. I slid my feet into my Yeezy slides at the door and decided to walk down to the mailbox.
I had to snatch all the mail that had accumulated out of the box. When I got back into the house, I dropped all the mail onto the kitchen counter and then started to go through it.
Hey, we noticed that you changed your address…
The words on one of the letters in the bunch of mail stuck out to me. It had Adonis' name on it, and I second-guessed about opening it, but once I realized that maybe this letter would tell me where he was, I ripped that shit open. I was the same girl that would check a nigga phone, so of course I'ma check the mail too. The letter didn't have the address of where he had forwarded his mail, but it did have when the change of address was submitted.He's been done with me,I thought when I looked at the date that was thirty days ago.
"Mam, we're finished."
I blinked away tears and then gave the movers my attention. All the furniture was still in the house, so I was confused.
"What all did you take?" I asked.
"Just clothes."
"Um, okay…"
I listened to the front door close before I searched the house for my phone to make a call. Since Talia had her spare key, I never walked around with my phone. It's not like Adonis would call me and tell me that he still loved me and was coming home. I could feel the ice building around my heart as I frantically searched the house for my phone.
I found it in the most awkward place on the side of the bathtub. I had knocked over the empty Hennessy bottle when I grabbed it. For the past thirty days, while I waited on a verdict from Adonis, I had drowned myself in liquor. I put the phone on speaker and placed it on the sink counter. I stared at myself in the mirror. My hair was matted, and I had gained a bit of weight. I never understood how some girls say that they could be so heartbroken over a nigga that they wouldn't eat. My ass was gonna stuff my face and cry. Thankfully, the little weight that I did put on went to my ass.
"Hello Snake Eyes…"
I came back from my thoughts when the person I had called answered.
"Onyx, I need to get back in the game."
"I was waiting on your call…"
I knew she was. Since Adonis didn't fuck with her, I'm sure that Joy told her what had happened between us.
"Yeah, I'm ready."
"Welcome back, Snake Eyes. You know what to do."
The line ended, and I laughed out loud. Nothing in my life was currently humorous, but it was crazy how life came around full circle. I had allowed a nigga to throw me off my game so much, and it was insane to me. I looked up flights to Potomac, Maryland. That is where The Heart Mirage's boarding house was. Whenever one of us went on a hiatus and came back, that was the first step. With Onyx in charge now, I wasn't sure how things were being run, but I was ready to get back to it.
After showering and brushing out my hair, I put it into a messy bun. I tossed on some sweats and sneakers. The only thing that I had in the house was my clothes. I quickly texted Talia and told her she could keep all the clothes since we wore the same size. My closet was exactly how he had left it. I walked over to the chaise and then pulled the two pictures out of it and pushed them into my YSL bag. I looked around at all of my designer pieces and then texted Talia again. I told her she couldn't have my shoes, bags, or coats and that I would send for them. I loved my cousin but not that damn much. On my way out of the closet, I hit the light. It was symbolic because I had closed out the light on the room that was the ending of us, and it felt like a step in the right direction to my healing process.
Talia
I had read Nyoka's text and didn't even bother to respond. For the past month, I had been trying to get her to stay in Georgia. I knew she needed to heal, and I was prepared to be there every step of the way with her. Also, I needed her by my side with this pregnancy shit. I understood, though. I understood that when you need to heal, you have to do it in your own way, and if her leaving is what she needed to rebuild, then I was all here for it.
"Nyoka is moving."
I knew Dom would relay the message to his cousin. Dom's phone started ringing, and I knew it was Adonis calling from the way he peeled his body out of bed to go and answer.He's gone live long,I thought to myself as I watched Dom walk out of our bedroom. I didn't fuck with his cousin for what he did to mine, and I heavily expressed that.
I sat in the bed, rubbing my feet together and scrolling on my phone. My days have become just that. Dom would be busy doing yards, and I would just sit inside and let the time pass me by. I didn't even have the urge to sell any houses. In a year, I was able to build a stronger bond with the only family that I had, and then the shit was pulled from under my feet all because of a nigga. A piece of me made me hate Dom for it because it was his blood, but I couldn't put him at fault for Adonis' ain't shit ass. Dom was a good dude and had been showing me that ever since we locked in.
"I gotta run something by you."
I locked my phone when Dom walked back into the room.
