Page 58 of If I Gave You My Heart
Joy was a force that couldn't be reckoned with for sure. She sat there unfazed at the fit that her child was throwing. Onyx cut eyes at me. And when she did, Joy spoke immediately after.
"This is a private conversation for Jolene and me. Nyoka, you are free to go."
I stood from the table and found my way out the same way I was shown in.
Adonis' family was full of drama and secrets. I admired how they cared for one another, but a piece of me was relieved that I didn't have any family of my own to deal with this kind of drama. I walked through the backyard and around the side of the house. Seeing Adonis sitting on the front porch with his brother and sister, I was relieved.
"Hey sexy lady…" he cooly said as soon as I stepped onto the porch.
He puckered his lips for a kiss, and I obliged. I could tell that he was drinking in my absence because of the gloss tint over his eyes. I sat in the chair that was beside him.
"Was Joy talking your head off?" he asked as he placed his hand on my thigh.
"Something like that."
"She probably was tryna school you on what to do with me when I get hot like that."
I wish she had given me the blueprint on how to handle Adonis when his temper arose because the night before, with his friends, was a prime example of when that man exploded. I didn't know jack shit about him. I had made it up in my mind that he needed to know about me. This entire vacation was filled with him being hit back-to-back with bullshit, so I knew I wouldn't say anything now. When we got back to our home, I figured it would be best.
We sat on the porch drinking while the three reminisced about their childhood. They had so many funny stories about growing up that I wish could have filled my childhood.
"So, is Dom our real cousin?" Adonis asked Adira.
"He's gotta be because Joy said that's her brother's son."
"So damn… ain't nobody my real family?" Javier asked.
There was this sadness in his tone that made me feel bad for him, but the way I saw it was he was surrounded by his real family. Adopted or not, his last name was still Loving, and the Loving family loved on him.
"I don't think so, boo, but we are all family," Adira said in a soft tone.
"I hear you, sis, but this is bullsh—" Javier cut his statement short when Joy and Jolene walked out the front door.
It was always the respect that all three had for me not to utter a curse word around Joy. A stiffness came over Adonis' demeanor as soon as Jolene stepped on the porch.
"Y'all can finish talking," she said.
One thing about Jolene was that she tucked her tail for no one. Her attitude was just that, and no one would waiver that, not even her own children.
"Ya attitude is kinda sassy for somebody that's dead wrong."
All of us turned in Adira's direction. It was shocking because she was the only one accepting of Jolene's presence at first. I could tell that the liquor was talking to her. I think that Jolene picked up on that as well because she ignored the statement.
"So what happened to our daddy? You mentioned him, and I definitely remember him being a good father."
Adonis had finally looked up from his phone. The topic at hand must have been an interest of his. Jolene gritted her teeth, and when she did, Joy placed her hand on her shoulder. I could tell that it was a tactic to calm her.
"What happened to him is what happened. What else do you want to ask me?" Jolene responded.
"My daddy loved me. I remember that. What did you do? Leave him behind how you left us?"
And there it was… the feeling of abandonment that I honestly would have shown from the beginning. I guess Adira was one of those people who would try to make things work until she realized she couldn't. Adonis was the total opposite. When he didn't fuck with you, he showed it from the very beginning.
"He did love you. He loved you not like how a father was supposed to, and once I noticed that shit… I killed him."
"Well, damn…" Javier mumbled under his breath.
We sat on the front porch in sort of a circle, but this wasn't some Kumbaya shit. Joy was seated beside Jolene, then Adira, Adonis, me, and then Javier. I could see the tears build in Adira's eyes, and unfortunately, I was able to relate to that pain. It was suppressed memories at its finest. Adonis had removed his hand from my thigh and then went to console his sister immediately. I didn't know how much he had remembered from their childhood of whatever had happened to her, but she remembered, and the cry that escaped her mouth let me know we had shared an unfortunate core memory that I had experienced. She was lucky to get a person like Joy afterward. When my mother's friends had their way with me, I didn't have anyone caring afterward to help me work through it.
