Page 55 of If I Gave You My Heart
"You wanna be called Nana, Joy? That's some old lady stuff."
"Javier, if you interrupt me one more time, I'ma put belt to ass. Don't let my age fool you."
We all looked at Javier as he sat back on the chair and shut his ass up.
"Now, the reasoning for this is because long before Jolene was thought about, I chose a path of murder-for-hire."
Adira raised her damn hand how she used to when we were kids when she wanted to say something during these family meetings.
"Yes?" Joy asked.
"So you killed people before Joy?" Adira asked.
"Did she…" Jolene stated with an excitement that made me feel sick to my stomach.
It was like she was proud that Joy just openly admitted to being a murderer. There was a slight look of shame on Joy's face as she shook her head up and down to answer Adira.
"Now, when y'all was born, I was still stuck in my ways. Seeing that raising y'all was a handful for Jolene, I decided to step in and raise y'all myself."
Adira had raised her hand again.
"Yes?" Joy questioned.
"So why you just didn't say that you were our grandmother, Joy?" she questioned.
"If I told y'all that, don't you think y'all would have been pressuring me about where your mother was?"
We sat quietly because we knew that we would have collectively.
"Now, as for Jolene…" Joy started.
"Ain't shit," I finished.
I couldn't help myself. Joy cut eyes at me. It was cool that she was her days Foxy Brown. That was on her. Even still, she had raised her kid. What the fuck was Jolene's excuse?
"Okay, Joy was out putting niggas in the dirt and then decided to become Martha Stewart overnight. Where were you when she was raising your kids?"
"I had picked up where she left off." Jolene turned in my direction to answer.
It infuriated me because how she could just sit in our faces and seem emotionless was crazy.
"You checked out on being a mother to check niggas into body bags? Make it make sense."
"It's not supposed to make sense to you because I did what was best for me."
I took my arm from around Nyoka and then stood.
"Why have kids if you were gone be selfish?"
"Something happened with y'all daddy, and then I did what was best for me."
"Putting the blame on someone else because you're an ain't-shit mother is insane."
"I done let enough cuss words fly up out ya mouth, Baby."
Joy was now standing beside me with her arms crossed over her breasts.
"I'm grown. I'm not putting the blame on no damn body." Jolene was now standing from her seat.
