Page 53 of If I Gave You My Heart
Tempers flarin' from parents, just blow 'em off and keep goin'…"
When I made it to the living room, I saw the little girl seated in the corner of the room. Her knees were up to her chest, and her arms were wrapped around her lean legs. The Tweety Bird nightgown she had on was dingy. What drew my attention was the blood splatter she had on the cloth of her nightgown and on her hands. As I took a step closer, the hardwood flooring beneath me creaked, which caused her to look up frantically.
I quickly took the mask off my face so that she wouldn't be scared of me.
"Hey, hey, it's okay," I whispered.
She was literally shaking in the corner. The blood on her infuriated me. Her left eye was almost swollen damn shut.
"Is the lady that did that to you your mom?" I asked as I used my lips to point to her face. She shook her head up and down, which broke my damn heart. "Where is she?" I asked.
I had all intention of killing the woman nice and slow. She raised her hand and pointed toward a dining room. I pulled the mask back down over my face as I walked in the direction that she had pointed. I rounded the wall, and when I ended up inside the dining room, I found it empty, and a weird feeling formed in my stomach. I wondered if the woman had heard me whispering to the little girl. I quickly shook that thought off because Eminem playing on the radio could have silenced my voice just moments before.
When I made it to the entryway to the kitchen, I took my mask off so I could breathe a little. The same woman that I was there to kill was lying lifeless on the white tiled floor. A kitchen knife was lunged into her chest. I could see over twenty stab wounds to her midsection.
"I killed her… finally."
I jumped at the sound of the small voice behind me. I turned around quickly and looked at the young girl. Her eyes were cold as she stared at the lifeless body that was now behind me. Then, I knew there was no way that I could send her to live with Joy and my children.
Without a doubt, she wouldn't have been a problem for my mother, but my kids weren't raised the way she was, and there was no way that I was going to expose them to her. I stood there in silence as I surveyed her for a while. I was looking for some sign of remorse for what she had done. I was something that I didn't ever think that I could be in life — speechless. The sound of Eminem filled the space between us as my mind was turning rapidly on what I should do with her.
"I'm sorry, Mama
I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to make you cry
But tonightI'm cleanin' out my closet."
"What's your name?" I finally mustered up to ask.
"Nyoka," she mumbled as she looked at me with slanted eyes.
Snake Eyes, I thought to myself as I stared at her. Joy couldn't raise her, but I knew with her killer instincts, I could.
"Come with me," I urged as I held my hand out for her.
Her small hand filled my palm as she willingly followed me out of that house and into my rental. I knew Nyoka would make a great addition to The Heart Mirage the very moment I met her…
I mentally came back from my trip down memory lane as I sat in an empty lot, contemplating on if I should take that hit on her or not. I had more money than I could count, so it wasn't about the money like Joy assumed. She had no idea about the relationship I had with Nyoka. If anything, me picking up that contract and ending her would have been out of anger. From the ages of thirteen to eighteen, I raised her and trained her, and as soon as the crescent moon and sun necklace was placed on her neck on her legal birthday, she left and never looked back.
Just as I had abandoned my kids and left to follow my dreams, she had done the same to me. I told myself that I would take Joy's advice and not pick up the contract. I only had myself to blame for Nyoka going missing because, unlike how my mother had raised me, I didn't raise her with love. I raised her to have an icy heart because I knew how hard my transition was when I first got initiated into The Heart Mirage. I struggled because of how I was raised in the beginning months of my training. I had a hard time separating from my feelings. With a last name like Loving, how could I not love love?
Wanting Nyoka to have a smooth transition, I didn't coddle nor baby her. She spent five years under me with her emotions detached and in killer mode. It should have been a surprise when she left the day after her graduation. I had raised that little monster. What bothered me was I had no knowledge of her intention with my son. I just prayed that her intentions were pure when it came to my baby because if not, then I would end her.
Chapter 13
Nyoka
Adonis was ready to go back to Joy's house to face the music of his family drama, and I didn't quite know how to tell him that I would rather stay in the hotel while he handled his business. He had been standoffish ever since I asked about his ex. Because I was an overthinker, the last thing that I wanted to do was create some distance between us. After all, we were in his city, and I could tell how, even after the time spent away from his ex, her presence still affected him. One thing I wasn't was naïve, and I could tell there still had to be some kind of love there. His reassuring me that all feelings were gone wasn't matching his actions of wanting to shoot someone over the mention of fucking her. My heart was in my ass while Adonis spent thirty-seven minutes away from me the night before. He told me he was driving around to get his head straight, so I had to take it for what he said. We ended the night cuddled with one another, and that felt good, so I wasn't going to press whatever narratives I had made up in my head.
"Why are you not getting dressed?" he asked me as he walked out of the bathroom.
The steam created from his being in the shower followed him out. Adonis' hair was locked in tight curls as it always did when he wet it. I wasn't the motherly type, and I knew, but I couldn't help but think that if we had children, they had to have his tight coils and light brown eyes.
"I umm…" I stopped speaking when the sound of his phone ringing cut me off.
He rushed over to it and quickly answered, making me raise my eyebrow suspiciously.Stop overthinking,I silently coached myself,nah fuck that,I thought, because one thing about Adonis is that he moved on his own damn time with everything. How he talked, walked, hell, even how he fucked was on his own timing and to his own tune, so seeing him rush to that phone ignited a fire of jealousy in the pit of my stomach.
