Page 1 of If I Gave You My Heart
Chapter 1
Adonis "Drayko" Loving
"Are you going running again, Baby?"
I watched the woman who meant everything to me slowly rock her weight forward so that she could lift her body from the sofa. I lightly jogged down the remaining three stairs and rushed in her direction to assist. She slightly groaned once she was on her feet. I looked down in her face and saw that my old lady was indeed getting just that — old. Her glowing brown skin possessed crow's feet, and wrinkles laid gently on her forehead.
"I gotta stay fit, you know that," I boasted as I flexed my arm, which made her smile.
"You be careful out there. The sun is not even up yet, and you're going outside."
"The sun is not even up yet, and you're up and headed in the kitchen," I countered as I followed behind her slow stroll.
"I just wanna make sure everybody got something in their bellies before they start the day."
"You're too nice to the niggas in this house, Joy."
"They're all babies to me." She sucked her teeth as she pulled a frying pan out of one of the oak cabinets. "And you're my biggest one."
I kissed her forehead before making my exit.
"Be careful!" she yelled out once again before I let the back door close behind me.
Something about the quiet stillness of the early morning always calmed my spirit. The silence wasn't that agonizing noiselessness that I used to experience all the numerous times that I had spent in solitary confinement. It was a peaceful one.
The aggressive engine of my Challenger cut through the quietness of the early morning. I wasn't a big fan of Ohio, but at moments like this, when my vehicle was the only thing moving in the city, there were times when I appreciated the small town that I had resided in for the past ten years. On my drive to the reservoir, my mind flooded with so much bullshit that I had experienced in life. I couldn't wait for my feet to hit the grassy ground surrounding the open body of water that stretched for miles.
I parked my car over the gravel-filled lot and then cut the engine. Joy crossed my mind. She worried about me, and it had been that way since I was a little boy. She used to say that I was the most problematic child that she had decided to adopt. I never could understand how our biological parents could sign over their rights, and when I couldn't understand shit, I became destructive. Being troubled growing up is why she loved me most. "Bad seeds always need the best loving,"was whatshe used to always say through my terror teens. Being the second oldest out of her three adoptive kids, I would be a liar if I said that I set the golden example for my younger brother. If you ask me, I wasn't shit. I've been in and out of jail more times than I could count, and when I think of it, this was the longest I had gone without hitting the rack.
Although the two-and-a-half-year stretch was rewarding, it's sad to say that two years straight was the longest that I had gone without hearing a cell close behind me. With my thirtieth birthday approaching, my anxiety started to surface because the reality of my life was that I didn't know if I was coming or going. The only thing I knew was how to get a bag. If I wasn't slinging dope or weed, then I was robbing muthafuckers blind. What I touched was took, and over the years, I had touched a lot of fucking pockets. In a world that seemed so foreign to me, I familiarized myself with getting to the money.
Joy's crib was full. So recently, moving back there wasn't something I necessarily wanted to do, but it had to be done. I was coming down from my get-rich-quick schemes, and my funds were running low. So, instead of putting my last bit into an apartment of my own until I hit my next lick, I decided to help her. She would never admit it, but she needed assistance with bills, so with the end of my long-term relationship, Joy welcomed me back to my old room with doting arms and a warm plate. After my recent breakup, I had decided to put that love shit on the back burner.
When the eight years had ended, I found myself homeless. All because of false cheating accusations, might I add. The older I grew, the less patience I had to give reassurance to someone with insecurities. In the end, I had gotten put out of some shit that was mine, and that was beyond me. Every loss that came was indeed a lesson for sure, though. That entire experience taught me that if my name ain't on some shit, then it ain't mine for real, and it didn't matter how much monetary value I had put into the situation. Leases, deeds, car notes, whatever needed Adonis Loving on it before I went claiming it as mine.
I had sat in the car longer than I intended because I hadn't noticed how much had changed in two years before today. I sat quietly at a point in my life where I was emotionally spent.
The emotional side to me was gone, and honestly, I welcomed it. To me, it was obvious that the relationship piece of me no longer existed. So, when my sexual needs would rise, I would blow down a bitch around the way just to get the nut off. After my ex, Lola, I couldn't take any of the women in Lima seriously, anyway. I would attract some of the coldest females, but they were all muthafucking crazy. And if they weren't crazy, then they were insecure when it came to her. So, to keep my inner peace, I remained single with no attachments to none of these females. Who would have thought that after being tied down for almost a decade, this bachelor shit would come with ease?
I took a deep breath before grabbing my Chrome .45 from the armrest. I made sure that one was in the head before I tossed the weapon into the pocket of my hoodie. Although Lima was a small town, the crime rate was high as hell, and I'll be damned if I let a nigga put me on a shirt.
After exiting the car, I looked back at my vehicle, proud because I had worked hard as hell over the last six months to get myself back into my preferred vehicle. Once I reached the top of the hill, I placed my AirPods in my ears.
"We're talking away
I don't know what I'm to say
I'll say it anyway
Today is another day to find you
Shyin' away
Oh, I'll be comin' for your love, okay
Take on me…"
This song spoke to me because it was one of the slightest memories that I remembered of my mother. She would blast this song and do a little bop as she cleaned around the house. That sentimental memory was the reason that this song made the cut on my workout playlist when I was in jail. I picked up my pace when I felt the light trickle of sweat slide down my forehead. I could hear my heavy breathing over the bass in my AirPods. A clear head was all I desperately wanted, and I was given that with my run. I had no intention of running the entire circumference of the lake because who knew how long that would take. I just wanted to run enough to be at ease. As the sun began to rise, I welcomed the rays that hit my face. It was so many days I missed out on having that feeling. When I felt like my heart was beating out of my chest, I turned my sprint into a light jog and then into a slow stroll. I elevated both arms toward the sky and then placed my hands on the top of my head. I breathed deeply as I walked back toward my car. The oxygen getting into my lungs felt great. I checked the time on my Apple watch and told myself it was time to go. I liked the reservoir when I was the only one to enjoy the scenery. I knew at any moment, the fishers would be out, and I didn't enjoy being around people for real.
