Page 40 of Nowhere to Hide

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“Rest, Cilla.”

And I did.

CHAPTER 9

LOCKE

I toldStone I’d help.

I was an idiot.

I couldn’t do this. We couldn’t have two fucked-up people on the boat and expect it not to crash into the rocks with our combined crazy. She needed someone who wasn’t me.

Who could actually be good for her.

But those eyes.

Those big, dark eyes had just locked on mine, and I’d known I was toast.

I knew about the sinking thoughts that threatened to drown you and never let you go. I knew what it felt like for the air to be sucked out of the room. I knew where the edges of sanity shifted and the goalpost got further and further.

I’d been there.

I’d lived there for months now. Even on the good days where the sunrises and the sunsets were pure magic. Where it was just me and the ocean. Sometimes it was the only thing keeping me going.

Me, on the water where no one cared that I was a head case.

I knew I wasn’t right for anyone else.

I couldn’t be responsible for anyone.

I’d get her killed just because I was a messed-up fuck. I needed to go tell Stone that I wasn’t his guy.

She’d be better off with someone who wasn’t completely off his goddamn rocker.

But then I looked down at her and I couldn’t walk out of the room.

I couldn’t walk away from her.

Her small body, so fragile.

Her face with the dark circles under her eyes. But when she opened those eyes, there was nothing but endless trust.

I didn’t deserve it.

But she was the first person to even remotely look at me like I was something other than broken.

And that was probably just me being fucked up beyond redemption.

I didn’t want to be that guy.

She didn’t need my brand of crazy.

Absolutely didn’t need me to fuck her up any further.

I stalked down the hall.

I needed to get some air.

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