Page 69 of Crossroads Magic
It was possibly the worst panic attack I’d ever had. My vision grew blurry and grey spots danced in front of my eyes and I knew I was in danger of passing out. But I didn’t have the strength or the orientation needed to get off the stool and sit on the floor, where passing out wouldn’t be so dangerous.
“It’s alright, Hirom. I’ve got this.” Benedict’s voice.
His hands on my arms. Lifting me. “Let’s get you off the stool,” he murmured.
I didn’t have the breath to agree. I was raised, then lowered to the floor. A wall against my back.
“Bag…” I croaked.
“I can do better than that,” Benedict said. “Just focus on breathing as deeply as you can.” His hands pressed against my upper chest, the fingertips digging deep, then holding still. Then, the same pressure somewhere else, all over my torso. He leaned me forward and did the same to my back. Then the side of my neck.
By the time he got to my temples, my breathing had slowed. I felt relaxed enough to fall asleep right where I was.
It was…well, was it magical?
“What is it you’re doing?” I asked, as he pressed his thumbs to spots near the corner of my jaw.
“Nothing more exotic than shiatsu massage,” he told me. I could hear amusement in his voice.
I let my eyes open. He was kneeling next to me. He put his hands on his knees as I looked at him. “Better,” he declared.
Hirom’s anxious face peered over the top of the counter.
“I’m okay,” I told Hirom.
“Good.” He moved away.
Benedict settled on the floor, his legs crossed, facing me. “That was a bad one.”
“I was going to pass out. It was that close.” I blew out my breath. “I haven’t had one since the first day I got here. Ninety seconds connecting with my real life, and it all came back.”
“It sounds like you should get rid of your real life. It isn’t doing you any favors.”
The laugh caught me by surprise. It wheezed out of me, with panic fluttering around the edges. I made myself breathe deeply until it passed.
Benedict watched me the whole time, one brow raised. “I wasn’t trying to be funny.”
“I know.” I blew out another breath. A sigh. “It turns out that my ex was my ex long before I even knew he was done with me.”
“Okay?” He said it cautiously.
“Yeah, that needs a little back filling. About twenty-five years ago, Jasper started a plumbing business. I thought it was a great idea, while he wasn’t so sure, and maybe I pushed him into it, and that’s why the business never seemed to do well.” I made myself look Benedict in the eye. “We got by, but only becausemyjob was going great and I was earning enough to cover the bills. At least, that’s what I thought up until I got that phone call just now.”
Benedict didn’t speak. His gaze was steady. There was no judgement in his expression. No reaction at all.
“Jasper lied about how well the business was doing,” I made myself say. “He liedfor years. Then he capped it off by lying about how he’d got this fantastic offer to sell it. An offer so far above the market price of the business he’d be crazy to not sell.”
Benedict said, “It wasn’t above market price, then?”
“Not even close. He sold the business at a discount, just to get rid of it. And he talked the buyer into it. Not the other way around, the way he told me it had gone down.” I looked at Benedict again. “I feel like I never really knew Jasper at all.”
“I can see how you’d feel that way. Trust is hard to gain and easy to break.”
“My father tried to warn me, before I married him. He said Jasper was bone-deep lazy, that it would ruin my life, somewhere down the track. And I told my father he was wrong, and then I married Jasper.” I sighed again. “My father was right all along.”
Benedict put his hands together, so the tips were touching, and looked at them. “There was a lady…the name doesn’t matter. She had a way of looking at life. That whatever happened, it wasn’t bad. It was just life. Life could bring hard times or good times. But life didn’t care, so why should she? She seemed to…. laugh through life.”
“She didn’t stay with you?” I asked softly.
