Page 51 of Mongrels United
“There’s too much happening on this ship that I don’t know about,” Grady went on. “Stuff I had no idea existed.”
“That’s why we’re digging into the Bellish,” he reminded her. “To figure out how it could remain hidden as long as it has.”
She shook her head, almost violently. “It’s myjobto know these things! I’m a failure at my job. I’ve failed the captain. The ship. I failed my father. It’smyfault he’s in that hospital, Nash!”
There was something else going on here, something more than Bellish and her need to save the ship. “What’s happened?”
Again, the sharp shake of her head. She wouldn’t let him distract her. She had more to say. Her gaze met his once more, and this time, he could definitely see the tears building at the bottom of her eyes.
“Are you a good person, Nash?” Her voice was strained.
He opened his mouth to speak, but she lifted her hand, halting him. “I can’t judge anymore,” she explained. “So you tell me. Are you a better person than your reputation says you are? If you are, then take that second kiss, the one you want. Because I won’t judge you. I’ll mess it up.”
Nash knew he should tell her to go home and sleep off this vulnerable moment, that she would regret it in the morning. Only, she was there, offering to let him have the kiss he wanted, and everything that would come after.
Ifhe deserved to take it.
Was he good enough for her? That was what it came down to.
The voice that sometimes spoke to him in actual words, that he sometimes suspected was his conscience, the voice he had so often ignored because it went counter to what he wanted, spoke up now.
I want to be good enough for her.
And because he really wanted that to be true, he stepped through the door, pulled her against him, and took the kiss they both wanted.
Grady sighed and flowed up against him, even as her tears spilled. He wiped them away and kissed her again, drawing her back into the apartment so the door would seal behind them.
She will never regret this, he vowed to himself and her. He would work to make sure of it. Whatever it took, he’d do, to keep her in his arms.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Grady sighed and stretched, feeling the pleasant afterwards-ache in every muscle and tendon. She returned her arm to Nash’s chest and put her chin on her arm. Then she frowned. “You really are thick with muscle, aren’t you?”
Nash’s eyes were closed. But he gave a soft laugh, barely heard, except through her arm and her flank, which lay against his. “When I was a kid, the gym was the one place I could be alone. Nason was always at home. Got so that was where I could think, without people yapping at me. Still is.”
“If my pillow is too high, I can punch it down. I can’t do that with you.”
“Well, you could try.” His eyes opened a sliver, showing a gleam, as if he would be interested to see her attempt it.
Grady laughed. She’d laughed a lot during this long sleepless night, which had surprised her. “So the muscles came first. Then the boxing matches followed.”
“They’re temper control,” he said, his tone dismissive. His eyes closed.
“And frustration control?” she guessed.
He opened one eye. “You’re still good at reading people,” he pointed out.
“I’ll never completely trust myself again,” Grady said. “It’s not that I learned I got people wrong that bothers me. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in the past.”
“It’s that you didn’t know what you didn’t know, and now you’ve been acquainted with that gaping hole,” Nash said. He opened his eyes fully, to look at her. “Embarrassment? Or wounded pride?”
It was a very good question. She considered it. “A tiny bit of pride, yes,” she admitted. “Some embarrassment. But mostly I feel guilty.”
He pulled her up higher against him, so she was resting across his shoulder. It put her within kissing distance of his mouth, and she watched the full lips move as he said, “You think your ignorance has let people down.”
“Yes!”
“You’ve failed them. That’s what you said last night.”
