Page 5 of As the Years Pass
“Yes, you have your cars in there.” I take his bag and zip it up, then help him get it onto his back. I take his hand and hurry out of the room. We head down the stairs and around to the back, where my car is. Judy gets in and buckles herself, since she’s in a booster seat now, while I buckle Ian into his car seat. I toss my stuff into the front seat, then hurry around to the driver’s side.
“Daddy, can you put the radio on?”
“Of course, sweetheart,” I say as I turn the car on and reverse it. I mess with the radio as I turn around and reach the road.
Co-parenting is not easy. Dealing with a separation is not easy. Living in Seattle for my kids while also living in California because that’s where my job is, is fucking hell.
Less than two months left. That’s it.
I make it to their mother’s house and quickly get them out of the car, grabbing their bags.
“Car!” Ian shouts when I put him on his feet. I shove my head back into the car to look forhiscar.
“I got it, Daddy,” Judy says with a smile, holding up his little red car.
“Thanks, sweetheart.” I take it with a smile and hand it to Ian, who hurries toward the house. I close his door, then follow after him with Judy at my side.
Mona, their grandmother, opens the door after Ian knocks.
“Hi, my little pumpkins!” she greets, holding her arms out wide.
“Grandma!” they both shout at the same time, jumping into the house to hug her. She smiles, then pats their butts for them to run off.
“Is Leslie here?” I ask.
“No,” Mona says, giving me a hard look. “She ran to the store.”
I nod. “I’ll call her later to figure out plans. I’m going to miss my flight if I don’t leave right this second.”
“Dropping them off earlier would have made more sense.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her off, to complain about how I am doing everything all by myself, even if I only have them on the weekends. Yes, Leslie is single too, but she’s living with her parents, and they help. I have no one, and getting two kids ready in the morning isn’t the easiest thing to do on the planet.
“I’m doing my best.” I look past her at the kids sitting on the couch. Judy has the TV remote in her hand. “Love you both!”
“Love you, Daddy!” Judy says, not pulling her attention from the TV. Ian doesn’t answer me, but it’s fine. He’s three and in his own world half the time. “I’ll call later,” I repeat as I hurry down the steps and get back into my car.
I rush to the airport, going into the garage that I pay to store my car. It’s a ridiculous fee, but I can’t rely on Ubers when I have to drop the kids off. It’s just too much.
I make it to my gate just as they’re boarding people, and it’s only when I’m in my seat that I have a moment to breathe. But only just a moment, because there is work to do and the second I land, I’m on again. I have a busy day, and by the time I get to my hotel, I’ll be exhausted, only to wake up the next day and do it all over again. Well, the work part, not the traveling part. At least I get a breather from that until Friday. The downside is I don’t get to see my kids all week. It’s the worst part of being here, but I am thankful for video calls.
The flight is less than two hours, and I spend the time responding to emails, scheduling showings, and putting together information for the newest listings. Once we land, I grab a coffee and a breakfast sandwich, then head to the pick-up area where I await my ride. It’s forty minutes to my office, which I’ll stop at to check in.
After that, I have back-to-back showings, then I’m meeting with a photographer to get photos of a new listing, then another showing, and a meeting with someone over a potentialcommercial property. I’m also meeting with someone this evening about taking over some rental properties. That will thoroughly increase my salary and give more of a buffer, which I will be grateful for. I don’t mind working my ass off as long as it pays. The busier I am while I’m here, away from my kids, the better. One day things will settle down. Today just isn’t that day.
Chapter Three
Emmet
It’s a week before Thanksgiving. Everything at the bar is going well. The guys have accepted me, for the most part. They’re wary but aren’t mean or rude. Most of them are helpful and friendly, actually. They’re definitely nosy, asking me all sorts of questions that are too personal. I answer as best I can. I’ve never been one to hide what’s going on in my life, but I also feel I shouldn’t have to divulge everything going on just to be accepted. That’s not why I’m here.
Mom is still with us, but Dad has been texting me every day, letting me know he thinks it may be her last and I should go there. I keep telling him it’s not what she wants. Deep down, I know he needs me there, but what’s more important? Her last wishes or his need for support? I don’t know the answer to thatquestion, and I wish someone could give me the right one. But I stay here, so I guess that’s my answer.
When she passes, I’ll be on the first plane there. It may be too late, but maybe he’ll understand. I have a lot going on here, and Mom told me to live my life. That’s what I’m trying to do. I need to fix up this bar, show Adam I’m worth something. Show him that I am capable of providing for a family, since that’s what he always wanted, what he has now. I can be responsible for him and his kids. I have nothing left in life, so I may as well make it all about him. This is my last chance.
I always thought I was a responsible person, but when you’re young, I guess maybe you’re not. Adam was ready to do things I wasn’t. He wanted to get married and have kids, and though I would have married him in a moment, the kid thing… I just wanted time with him. Time for us to be together and enjoy one another out in the open. We never got that far because I didn’t work hard enough to show him that I could be everything he needed. Maybe if I had agreed, if I had told him I wanted kids right away, he’d have stayed.
It’s the end of the night, with an hour left until close. I’m in the office, working on spreadsheets and invoices. I have a six-month plan for the bar, and so far, everything seems doable. My upgrades have started with the kitchen. I’ve replaced the dishwashers, ordered new dishes, and of course, silverware. I’m going to put in two pizza ovens, but because of the ventilation system, it’s going to take a lot of work and money. I have HVAC people coming by to look at it and give me a quote first. Hopefully, in a few months, we’ll have pizza. I’m also working on a schedule of events to make the bar more well-known. Maybe some pride stuff or community events—both, I guess.
