Page 115 of As the Years Pass
“I saw them at the bar a couple times. They left with another guy one night and I’m pretty sure they had a wild threesome.” I laugh and so does Adam. “I don’t know Mikah that well, but if Dominic is tying himself down, he must be worth it.”
“Good point. So, serious question,” Adam says, looking at me with a smirk.
“What?” I ask carefully.
“Have you watched any of his videos?”
The shock must be written all over my face because Adam throws his head back and laughs so hard. It’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.
“Well, with a reaction like that I’m going to guessyouhave,” I say.
He shrugs. “Guilty.”
“Adam Anderson!” I chastise playfully, nudging him with my elbow. “You’ve watched my brother’s porn?”
“Oh, knock it off. He’s not even your real brother.” He bumps me with his shoulder, and I’m starting to think he just wants to touch me as badly as I want to touch him. ‘You’re not going to tell me you haven’t.”
“I mean, I didn’t watch it,exactly.”
“And what does that mean?”
“It means I was curious and I checked it out, but I didn’t enjoy it. He’s my brother.”
“He’s your ex-foster brother.”
“Still,” I say, shaking my head. “He’s too much like a brother. It was weird.”
“Well, I thought it was hot.”
“Hopefully not hotter than me,” I mutter under my breath.
“No way,” he says. “Nothing is hotter than you.”
Adam winks, and I almost trip over my own two feet. He reaches over to take my hand, linking our fingers together. My chest warms, but my heart aches. I don’t know what we’re doing.
“I don’t want to be afraid of losing you, Emmet. I’m sorry that I am.” He pauses, then adds, “Let’s get through this weekend together, and when we get back home, we can talk about us.”
“You say ‘get through this weekend’ like it’ll be a chore.”
I don’t mean for it to come out moody, but it does.
He stops, pulling me to a stop with him. “It’s not. It won’t be. I didn’t mean it like that. I just know things are confusing right now.”
“Then why can’t we talk now?”
“Because we have a wedding to go to in a few hours, and I don’t want to be in a foul mood.”
“Why is talking about it going to put you in a foul mood?” I argue, pulling my hand from his.
He watches me carefully. “You’re being defensive, and that’s fair. But please don’t start a fight with me.”
I grit my teeth, then look away. Closing my eyes, I take a breath. “You’re right. I’m sorry, I’m just…”
“Upset. As you should be.Thisis why I want to wait to talk.” He steps closer to me, putting his hands on my hips. “I don’t want to be your enemy, Emmet. I swear, I want this with you. Hell, even Leslie knows.”
“What?” I step back and out of his grip. “How?”
“Because I’m more obvious than I thought, I guess.” I raise a brow, wanting more than that. So he explains what she said and how she figured it out as we keep walking. I keep my hands shoved in my shorts pockets, worried he’s going to take hold of it again. I love holding his hand, but I really am being defensive. I’m worried he’s going to pull me in again just to push me away. “I guess now that I think about it, it all makes sense that myworry was something other than you being a guy. I guess it was easy to blame it on that, but deep down, that wasn’t my issue. I just needed someone to call me out on it.”
