Page 105 of As the Years Pass
She crosses her arms over her chest, giving me a hard look.
“Since Judy gave him her unicorn mug.”
I huff a laugh, shaking my head.
“He’s the one, isn’t he?”
“Huh? One, what?”
“From all those years ago.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I say quickly.
Leslie takes a deep breath and gives me a disappointed look.
“None of us are kids, Adam. We’re adults, we’re mature, we know how to have safe and respectful relationships. I know you had a few tough years before we got together, but don’t let that define your whole life. If you love this Emmet guy, and have since then, it’s okay.”
“It’s—”
She steps closer, putting her hand on my arm. “It doesn’t take away from what we had, it doesn’t make you any less of a father, it doesn’t make you an asshole, and being with a man certainly isn’t wrong.”
I swallow hard, my mouth going dry.
“Judy mentioned him a lot of times, and she always had amazing stories to tell. I assumed he was a friend, but then I’d seen you a couple times, and you seemed happier. Then Judy mentioned he wasn’t around anymore, and you’ve been in a sour mood, so I put two and two together. I could have sworn your friend’s name from all those years ago was Evan, but I could have remembered wrong. It could be Emmet. And I could be very wrong about all of this right now, but don’t forget I’ve known you for a long time, too, Adam. You’re not as good at hiding yourself as you think you are, and the look on your face right now is a dead giveaway.”
Her soft gaze stays on me, a contrast to the anxiety swirling in my chest. How is this the same woman who acted so cold toward me for years?
“I have to go. I’m sorry.”
I hurry around her and out the door.
“I’m not your enemy, Adam!” she calls after me as I pound down the steps and hurry to my car. I need to get the hell out of here.
Chapter Forty-Three
Emmet
One month later…
Dominic
Don’t forget my wedding, you prick.
I stare down at the text from Dominic. I’d already decided that I wasn’t going, but that’s not fair to him. I don’t have a reason not to go, other than I just don’t want to. I’m in no mood to see people happily in love. Or happy, at all.
Somehow, The Butterfly has become a match-making bar, and just about everyone who was single when I started, isn’t now. It’s awful. Fucking depressing.
I thought putting a stop to things with Adam was a good idea, but I’ve been miserable. He hasn’t showed up to the bar once. Ihaven’t heard from him once. And yet I think about him every day, multiple times a day, the same pathetic way I did before. Knowing he lives down the street doesn’t help a damn thing. Too many nights, after closing up the bar, I’ve wanted to walk down there. Hell, I’ll admit it. Too many nights I did. Stood outside his apartment and glanced up at his windows. They were always dark, and I sometimes wonder if he moved just to get away from me.
I can’t beg him to be with me. I can’t make him want to be with me. I can’t make him do anything, honestly.
That’s the worst part of this all.
I want it. He wants it.
But he isn’t willing to take it. He won’t let me in.
I grew up with parents who loved every person they could unconditionally. I would do anything for Adam, but I don’t deserve to be hidden away or kept on the sidelines. I want what I want, and that includes himanda family.
